#so now he's just like 'oh. okay. i. guess i am a serial killer that i cant remember. how do i deal with that

[aboutchriss]

walk with me

Pairing: idol!BangChan x fem! reader

Genre: fluff

Warnings: chan being a cutie patootie with berry, reader is 22

Author notes: idk, okay?. i'm bored trying to avoid my relatives that are here for the chirstams holidays...please save me...i wrote this to...escape from this house, i hope you appreciate it. i'll probably do a part 2, it's 2:30 a.m here so yeah, and of course it's not proof read! (i'll read it tomorrow) oh and wear sunscreen my kids!!

💌

remember! english it's not my first language, please be gentle with me! let me know if there's any mistastake

💌

requests are open, especially on Christmas!

It's the perfect day in Sydney; the temperature is on point—not too cold, not too hot. It's the right temperature to wear a sundress and a little jumper that you probably won't use because you want to tan before the holidays, even if you want to tan though, you put sunscreen on and lay down on a beach towel in a public park, the grass is green and you can hear kids screaming and laughing while they're playing with a grasshopper and insects, you have a book inside your purse, and cold tea, it's a daydream.

As you lay on the grass, something warm and wet touches your cheek—once, twice. When you open your eyes, you find a small, maybe a little fat dog with a smile on it's face (yes, dogs can smile). You sit down, looking around to find the dog's owner, and there he is the most beautiful, gorgeous man you have ever seen in your entire existence, is it possible? Are you having a heat stroke? He has dark brown curls, the kind of curls you can touch until you fall asleep, he's trying to hide a smile but you can see dimples on his cheeks, he has broad shoulders and big hands, and he looks like a damn Disney prince, are you daydreaming? What the fuck it's happening? "I am so sorry miss" He says in a muffled laugh

did he just called me miss, how old is he? 44? no, that's not possible, he's too beautiful to be this old

"oh, no worries -you giggle- i don't mind kisses from a gorgeous dog like her? are you a she or a he mh?" you say, now talking to the dog that is laying comortably on your lap

"oh uhm, she is right, her name it's berry" he says touching his ear

"Berry huh? what a pretty name" you rub her hear

"well i guess she's comfy there, 'm sorry, she's old and when she lays down somewhere well...umh - he touches the nape of his neck- she stays there for a while" he says looking right into your eyes

"oh, no worries...if you're free we can wait till she gets up" you say patting the place next to you on the beach towel

he smiles and you can finally see his dimples, and boom we're so fucked up y/n.

"your mom didn't teach you to not talk to strangers? i might be a serial killer" he says sitting down next to you

"what about your mom? -you echo- maybe i'm the serial killer" you smile at him

"touchè" he laughs

"i'm Christopher by the way, you can call me Chris or Chan" he says offering his hand

a veiny and big hand

"i'm y/n - you grab his hand and shake it- nice to meet you Christopher" he laughs

"are you from Sydney?" he asks caressing Berry that is still sleeping on your lap

"oh no, i work here, nothing more, what about you?" you say

"I was born and raised here, but i work in Korea, i'm here for the christmas holidays" he explains (not that you can hear something since your too focused on his thick lips, thanks god you're wearing sunglasses)

"Korea mh? and what do you do? CEO in a company? Actor? or you cook kimchi for stray cats?" you ask caressing Berry

he laughs and it feels like the sun just exploded

"I- uh- i'm an idol, nothing special" he shrugs

"an idol?" you echo

"mhmm, i have a group and we sing and dance and stuff like that" he says smiling

oh this dude really loves his job

"stuff like that mh? and are you famous?" you ask caressing Berry's head

"what about you? what do you do?" he asks

"uuuh, you're avoiding the question...is that a yes? you're famous! -you giggle" you say

"shhhh, i'm not, i promise i'm not that famous" he says

"oh...okay..." you look at him trying to see his eyes through his sun glasses

"so...what do you do?" he asks again, caressing Berry's head

"i-uh i work in a library, i own it actually...it's not interesting" you say

"so you read a lot?" he asks

"i do, actually" you say smiling

"and what's your favorite genre?" he asks caressing Berry's body, his fingers brushing against your thigh

"i-do you want the real answer or?" you giggle

"of course i do!"

"smut"

"smut?" he echos

"yes, porn in books, smut, call it how you prefer" you say shrugging

"interesting" he nods

"do you want to grab a coffee with me?" he suddenly asks

"mh? you want to grab a coffee with me?" you ask

"yeah, with you and well berry, even if she might be the third wheel" he giggles

"okay"

"you don't have to if you don't want to, i just asked because you're really cute and yeah i want to know you better" he spits out in one breath

"Christopher i said okay, let's go. I need to know more about your job and i won't leave Berry 'till you make me listen one of your songs, but before we go can i put sunscreen on your face? you burnt your nose" you try not to laugh

"oh? really?" he touches his nose

"mhmm -you nod- may i?" you asked

"sure, go on" he says lifting up his sunglasses

"tell me if i hurt you okay?" you say as you squeeze sunscreen on the tips of your fingers, putting it on his nose in the most delicate way possible

"you're kind you know?"

"i know" you smile

"i feel like a kid...wait i -he grab your hands gently- how old are you?" he asks

"old enough Christopher, don't worry" you smile

"i'm serious how old are you?" he asks

"i'm 22, and you?"

"i'm 27" he sighs and let go of your hands

"damn, what a sigh" you giggle

"i feel like a grandpa" he says

"you're not a grandpa Christopher, not with this body"

"oh-...thanks" he says is it the sun or is he blushing?

"okay, let's go, and by the way, you can't threat me with my dog" he says, getting up, grabbing berry from your lap and offering his hand to you

"what a gentleman! and that wasn't a threat, i just want to...listen to what you do okay?" you say grabbing his hand to get up and fuck he's also tall, and bigger than you expected

"of course i'm a gentleman. and yes, she's my baby, i would do anything for her, even embarassing my self in front of the most beautiful woman in this park with my songs" he says looking at you

"oh-" he giggles

is he flirting?

"come on, i know a good place for a coffee and maybe lunch?" he asks

"i'm right behind you" yeah right behind you staring at your fifty pounds of ass

"you know that my eyes are up here right?" fuck

"no, yeah i know, i was looking for my...purse...yeah my purse"

"liar" he says laughing and you push his back

"shut the fuck up, you've been staring at my boobs the whole time!" you say and he turns around to look at you

"i-did not- okay maybe a little okay? wait...you can see my eyes through the sunglasses" he asks looking down at you

"i do...you can see mine?" you ask

"i do"

"good than we're both idiots"

"maybe a little" he giggles

"come on, let's go we have a 10 minutes walk and berry is heavy"

"ugh, big arms for nothing" you mumble

"i could pick you up with one hand and throw you around if i wanted too" he says walking straight, he and his stupid fucking aura

"damn okay, sorry"

-

ten minutes later you're at the cafe, it's cute and cozy and the sandwiches on display looks yummy, and the man in front of you looks yummy; he took off his sunglasses now and you can finally see his eyes in a decent light, simply brown boba eyes, and you can clearly tell that he is a good man just by looking at his eyes. his eyes are also eating you alive, but again this is another story.

[12freddofrogs]

Very weird to be in that stage where a show is grabbing hold of your brain, but you haven't finished the show so you cant interact with fandom because spoilers, and you're watching it with someone else so you can't even just keep watching until you finish

[sweatervest-obsessed]

Okay.. hear me out the song 'Stick Season' by Noah Kahan... for a fic like her and spence break up and she can't move on from him...

Oh you mean my FAVORITE NOAH KAHAN SONG???

Absolutely girlboss.

It ended up being 3.5k, so please please enjoy!!

(it's a gn! fic btw)

You must have had yourself a change of heart like Halfway through the drive Because your voice trailed off exactly as you passed my exit sign Kept on drivin' straight and left our future to the right

Everyone in the BAU hated letting Spencer drive. It was a fact of the universe. It wasn’t because he was bad at it, in fact he was quite a good driver. But whenever he would drive, it was constant chatter, constant rambling, and sometimes, it would be in between NPR segments where Spencer would correct someone or pause to discuss interesting facts that he knew. 

So when Spencer offered to drive the team to the hotel across town, no one had the guts to say no. It was some random town in Vermont, in the middle of October, some weird string of murders throwing another small town into disarray. He was in the middle of describing the science behind why certain leaves change into certain colors when his voice died out.

They were at one of two stop lights in town and they were stopped at one of them. Spencer was looking diagonally across at some random coffee shop, and Derek could not, for the life of him, figure out why Spencer was looking over there. 

“Reid? Hello.” 

“It’s her.” 

“Who?” Derek followed his line of sight again and realized what Spencer was looking at, well, who he was looking at. 

You. 

“Oh my god. Isn’t that…” 

Spencer nodded his head. 

“Why is she…” 

Spencer just stared at you. “I don’t know.” 

You were now leaving the coffee shop, cup in hand and small brown bag in the other. Spencer could probably guess what was in both. 

“Green light Reid.” 

The two of them started to move again, but neither of them spoke on the way to the hotel. It was almost unbelievable that they hadn’t seen you in over two years and yet here you were, in some random town that had a serial killer. 

Now I am stuck between my anger and the blame that I can't face And memories are somethin' even smoking weed does not replace And I am terrified of weather 'cause I see you when it rains Doc told me to travel, but there's COVID on the planes

“No no. Lucille. You don’t understand. He was like, nerdy hot. And I fucked up big time.” 

Lucille snorted and handed you the blunt in her hand. “My love, my life. I bet you, he was the problem.”

You scoffed and took a hit. “Yeah right.” 

Lucille raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms. “You’re not still in love with the guy are you?” 

“When you put it like that it makes me sound pathetic.” 

“Oh girl no, you are, aren't you.” 

You sighed and took another hit—a long inhale this time to compensate. 

“Sweetie, you are WAY too good for him.” 

You laughed. “Mr three PhDs, four Bachelors, and FBI? Yeah. I don’t think so.” 

“Weren’t you Mrs FBI?” 

“That’s Miss FBI to you. Mrs is reserved for happy married stupid people.” You grumbled and closed your eyes. 

“Wow.” 

“Wow What.” 

“He was really the one wasn’t he.” 

You nodded. “I really thought….god I’m so stupid.” You stood up and started pacing along the porch of your house. 

Once you and Spencer had broken up, you needed to get out of there. There had to be somewhere where he couldn’t touch you, couldn’t find you. So you closed your eyes and pointed to a random spot on the map. Then when you realized you pointed to Las Vegas, you sat down and wrote down what you knew about Spencer, then tried to find somewhere that he had the lowest percentage of going. 

And Fairlee seemed like the right place. There was nothing for him out here. 

Except for you. 

But Spencer didn’t feel that way. Not anymore at least.

You had taken up teaching, obtaining your teaching certificate up in Vermont and becoming one of ten teachers in the high school (which supported any child in a half hour radius). 

It wasn’t hunting down serial killers, but it was still fulfilling. 

That’s how you met Lucille. She was another teacher, in need of a roommate, and the rest is history. 

“You’re floating away again.” 

You snapped back to the conversation. “Sorry. Just. Really thought we were going to get married and be with each other and shit but.” 

“But?” 

“He wasn’t ready. You’d think three years knowing one another and being friends, and then another three years of dating would, you know. Add up to something.” 

“I’m sorry sweetie.” Lucille took your hand and squeezed it tightly. “He doesn’t deserve you.” 

“Yeah…maybe, I don’t know.” 

She squeezed it again. “Tonight’s the night Damian invited us all down to the bar to hang out, I know we said no but…might as well get free drinks out of a guy who will never get the hint. Free booze, boost of ego. You’re young, you’re hot.” 

“I see what you’re doing.” You smiled down at her. “But it’s raining and I’m not in the mood to get soaking wet just from walking from the house to the car then the car to the bar….”

“Pleaseeeee.” 

Just as you were about to answer, a pair of headlights turned onto your driveway. 

You’d know those stupid fucking headlights anywhere. 

“Who do we know that drives a black suburban?” 

Lucille shrugged. “I don’t think we know anyone who has one in town, why? Is that what the car is?” 

You nodded, your stomach dropping. 

“Luce. Hide the weed.” 

“Why, it's not Tom and you know he’s over here every—-“

“Now. Luce.” 

She furrowed her brows as the headlights stopped in front of the house. She quickly grabbed everything and went into the house. 

You stood on the porch, in your pajamas pants, and a sweatshirt, hands in the front porch. 

The car turned off and you watched as three figures got out of the car and walked up to the porch, freezing as they looked at you, the rain pouring down on them. 

“Why are you here Hotch?” 

The man was frozen,and he looked over at Emily, who was just as baffled to see you. 

“Y/n?” 

“Why are you here?” You asked again. 

“Why are you here?” 

“This is my home Em.” You stepped back a couple of steps and gestured for them to come up onto the porch so they don’t have to stand in the rain anymore. 

Spencer was silent the whole time, not taking his eyes off of you. 

The three of them moved up the porch and went towards the door, but you blocked them. 

“You need a warrant if you want to enter my house, Hotch. What are you doing here.” 

“We need to speak to Lucille Walkner.” 

“Why.” 

Emily raised her eyebrows, and crossed her arms. She was used to how stubborn you were, but being on the receiving end of it was something she was not a fan of. 

“It’s in regards to the string of murders y/n.” 

You raised your eyebrows. “I can guarantee you that I have been with Lucille every moment of every day for the past two weeks.” 

“We’re not accusing her, we’re just asking—“

You cut Emily off. “Asking her questions. Yeah. I know how this goes. In case you forgot or something. It hasn’t been that long. Why do you need to speak to her.” 

“Because she was the last person seen with the most recent victim.” 

You looked at Spencer for the first time since he got here. “So was I. But somehow you failed to mention that as well. You’re losing your grip, Doctor.” 

The group had never heard your voice so flat, so strict, so full of disdain. It was easy for you to treat him like he was the villain. He felt like one. He was one. 

“Y/n.” 

You broke your staring contest with Spencer and looked over at Hotch. “Get a warrant and come back tomorrow.” 

And with that you walked into your house and locked the door behind you. Feeling a bit more bitter than usual, you turned off the porch light too.

They all stood out there. Dumbfounded. 

And I love Vermont, but it's the season of the sticks And I saw your mom, she forgot that I existed And it's half my fault, but I just like to play the victim I'll drink alcohol 'til my friends come home for Christmas And I'll dream each night of some version of you That I might not have, but I did not lose Now your tire tracks and one pair of shoes And I'm split in half, but that'll have to do

When the BAU showed up at your door with the proper paperwork the next morning, both you and your roommate were at work, twenty minutes away. 

Your sense of humor still intact since you managed to leave a sticky note for them: 

At work. home by 4.

But that didn’t stop the caped crusaders of the BAU. 

When they showed up at the school to interview you and your roommate, Lucille went first, recounting the night all three of you went out to one of three bars in the town, and then when you offered to drive her home, she insisted on calling her own roommate. When you watched her get into her roommate's car, the both of you went home. 

When you recounted the same exact story, you both were released for the day. 

“Heard you were a pain in the ass yesterday.” 

You stopped in the hallway and turned around, facing Derek Morgan. “What do you want, Agent.” 

“Woah woah what’s with the formalities.” 

You rolled your eyes. “Derek. I’m really not in the mood. I fit the victimology of the asshole on a murder spree, and the team acted like I didn’t fucking know that. I’ve also realized you haven’t connected the fact that all of them are dating or sleeping with the police force.” 

“All? We only knew two of the five—“

“Because half of them don’t want to admit that they’re cheating on their wives, and the other half don’t want to admit they’re dating anyone regardless of marital status. Not a single one of the victims were married.”

Derek just stared at you. “Touchy subject?” 

You closed your eyes. “I still have a gun license Derek. Don’t make me use it.” 

“Too soon?” 

“Yeah Derek. Too soon.” You sighed as he pulled you into a hug. 

“We miss you y’a know. It’s not the same.” 

“I’m sure.” You squeezed him tightly. 

“And I’m serious. We haven’t found anyone nearly as good as you have been.” He whispered, kissing your head. “Your desk is still empty. Hotch won’t let anyone sit there. I think he’s hoping you’d come back. I think we all are.” 

“I can’t even look at him and it’s been two years” you whispered trying not to cry. 

“I know.” He just squeezed you. “I know.” 

“God I just….”

Derek pulled you into an empty classroom the second he felt your body tense up. There was one thing you hated more than crying, and it was crying in public. Once the door to the classroom was closed, he pulled you back into the hug, letting your tears pour down his shoulder.

“God I thought I’d never have to see you people again.” 

Derek chuckled. “Clearly you didn’t read your contract. It’s required that you’re supposed to see me at least seven times a year and if you don’t, I hunt you down.” 

You laughed through your tears and sat down on one of the desks. “You wish.” 

“I do.” 

“Be serious Derek.” 

“I am.” 

You sighed and looked up at him. “Well. Now you know where I am so. Come and visit me I guess.” 

“Oh I plan on it gorgeous.” 

You used the sleeve of your sweater to wipe away some of the tears still clinging to your cheeks. 

“He misses you too.” 

“Derek….”

He knew it ws dangerous territory, but he had to let you know—He needed you to know how it was affecting everyone, even though it’s been two years. “He does.” 

“Why would you tell me that Derek.”  

“You have to–

“Have to what Derek. I don’t wan—that’s a lie. What I would fucking give to be back in DC; back at the FBI. But I can’t do it Derek. I can’t go back.” 

“But–”

“No.” You backed away from him, out of his arms. “I’m not going back.”

“Please.” Derek watched as your back straightened and your eyes hardened. You didn’t want to talk about it anymore. You were just starting to move on. Fuck. He watched as you closed yourself off again. 

“Do you need anything else agent or can I go.” 

“Y/n…”

“Then goodbye Agent Morgan.” 

So I thought that if I piled something good on all my bad That I could cancel out the darkness I inherited from dad No, I am no longer funny 'cause I miss the way you laugh You once called me forever now you still can't call me back

Unexpectedly, but expectedly, the killer was caught. He was some sort of religious nut who had decided that “immoral sinners” be put in your place. 

That was something you did not miss: the misogynistic murderers. 

But the BAU was getting ready to leave. You were grateful that they had come and protected the community you had grown so close to, but the thought of them knowing where you were made you nervous. 

You knew Penelope most likely tracked you from time to time, and you weren’t trying to live completely off the grid/untraceable. But seeing them in person, watching them run around your town, was nerve-wracking. 

Seeing Spencer fucked you up the most though. 

He looked okay; or better than you at least. He was completely and utterly okay, and it bugged the shit out of you. How could he be okay, how could he move on and be happy without you, while you are stuck still trying to locate the remaining pieces of your shattered heart.

To Spencer, you were a wonderful experience. But to you, Spencer was everything. 

The BAU had left, no goodbyes were in order since you had fulfilled your goal of attempting to burn every bridge you had. It was painful, but you just couldn't help it. They reminded you of Spencer. Everything reminded you of Spencer. 

Lucille watched as you slowly transformed back into that lost person from two years ago. Your smile never reached your eyes. You drank just enough to be concerning, but not enough to continuously push the boundaries of alcoholism. Your face was pale. You never laughed or cracked jokes any more. 

All you could do was think of Spencer. Waking up next to him, his arms around your waist. The smell of his apartment, the rides to work, the glances from your desk to his desk. It was all just too painful. 

There were moments where you would pick up your phone and sometimes it felt like the world was against you. Derek posted a picture from some sort of day off, and suddenly you didn’t follow him anymore. Or, if you opened NPR, Doctor Spencer Reid was the headliner in a speaker series at Georgetown in blah blah blah. So you stopped listening to the radio. 

Every since he stepped out of the car in your drive you, you’ve wanted to call him. You’ve wanted to hear him speak to you like he did, to love you like he did. You wanted to call him and hear him apologize and tell you everything was going to be okay and this was all just a big misunderstanding and you were his forever. 

But you had a feeling that if you called, he wouldn’t pick up. 

Oh, that'll have to do My other half was you I hope this pain's just passin' through But I doubt it

One Year Later…

Time flies. Leaves change. Life moves on. 

But suddenly it's back to October and you find yourself in a new town, somewhere completely different. Another fresh start. Maybe this one will stick. 

But then you get a call.  

And it’s from Erin Strauss, offering you your job back, and your hesitation gave her all of the information she wanted to hear. You had three days to make a decision. 

Do you continue to run from place to place, hoping and praying that maybe someday you’d be able to feel like you deserved to be loved again. Hoping that someday someone might actually want to stay. They might want you to stay. 

Do you stay in this new town, and get attached to the people, making new friends, reminding you of the old ones, and hoping that it will be enough to fill the holes in your skin. 

Do you continue to teach. Do you continue to shape minds even though it’s not something you had ever dreamed of doing. Especially when it feels like you’re trying to force your body into loving something it doesn’t. 

Or

Do you go back to the FBI–the BAU.

Do you ignite the flame in your chest and let yourself enjoy the chase. LEt yourself be happy with your job and treasure every moment you get to catch the bad guy. 

Do you accept the job and move back to the desk you belong at, surrounded by your friends. Once again in a building you call home, letting your guard down for the first time in three years. 

Do you let your guard down and talk to Spencer and watch yourself undo all of the progress you had made. Watch as your resolve crumbles and your heart aches and you can;t even breathe around him because it hurts to see him. 

Do you give up and follow him around like some lost puppy and beg for him to take you back so maybe you’ll be able to melt your waxen heart and be happy again. 

You don’t take the job. You never hear from Erin Strauss again. 

And I love Vermont, but it's the season of the sticks And I saw your mom, she forgot that I existed And it's half my fault, but I just like to play the victim I'll drink alcohol 'til my friends come home for Christmas And I'll dream each night of some version of you That I might not have, but I did not lose Now your tire tracks and one pair of shoes

Sometimes in your sleep, you can see what your wedding would have looked like. The venue, the florals, your outfits and shoes. Your closest friends and family by your side as you commit your soul to be bound to his. 

But every time you get to the I Do’s, Spencer says yes. 

It hurts because you never even made it that far. 

You didn’t even get an engagement ring. 

All you got were pitiful looks and sympathetic glances while Spencer rambled on about how much he didn’t understand marriage or want children–not that you did, but you would have liked for it to have been a discussion between the two of you. 

You would have liked a lot of things. 

Sometimes, in your dreams, Spencer proposes. 

It never leaves your mind, watching as he publicly declares his love for you. Apparently, that was too much to ask for. 

And I'm split in half, but that'll have to do Have to do

The pain of waiting to be loved feels like you’ve but split down the middle, letting yourself melt apart. The skin, no matter how hard you try, can never be stitched back together, and even if you manage to get some back, it scars over, reminding you for the rest of your life how unloveable you feel. 

Maybe you’ll get lucky and someday you can learn to live with never being truly whole again. 

Since Spencer owns half of you, and you will never be whole without him.

Part 2

[fuckingsimpthatswho]

One Piece incorrect Quotes

part 2 because they are funny

Sanji: Wait, hold up, why you draw yourself like that? Usopp: Uh, like what? Sanji: Like with gorgeous, muscular legs. Usopp: Uh, this is what I look like. Sanji:

Usopp: THIS IS WHAT I LOOK LIKE! Sanji: Okay, then I want big beefy arms. Hot ones. Zoro: I wanna have a cowboy hat! Usopp: Okay, arms and hat. draws them Luffy: Ooh, give me a cowboy hat too! Usopp: You can't just take Zoro's hat idea, Luffy! He thought it up all by himself like a good person! Come up with your own thing! Luffy: BUT I WANNA LOOK COOL! Nami: Put Luffy on one of those stupid baby tricycles. Luffy: NO!! Usopp: Tricycle, done. draws it Brook, want anything? Nami, making finger guns: Pew pew. Usopp: A blaster?! No, that's not really our style, Brook. Brook, making finger guns: Pew pew. Usopp: You know what, okay. draws it But it's just for holding, not for shooting.

Brook: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the things you lost throughout your life. Franky: It would be nice to have my sense of purpose back… Robin: Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this. Zoro: My will to live! I haven't seen this in years. Nami: I knew I lost that potential somewhere. Sanji: Mental stability, my old friend! Brook: Jesus, could you guys lighten up a little?

Franky: From now on we will be using code names. Franky: You can address me as Eagle One. Franky: Chopper is “been there done that”. Franky: Robin is “currently doing that”. Franky: Brook is “it happened once in a dream”. Franky: Nami is “if I had to pick a gal”. Franky: And Usopp is.. Franky: Eagle Two Usopp: Oh thank god.

Luffy, watching Zoro and Sanji from afar: Two Bros, Chillin in a hot tub. Five feet apart because they think they’re not gay, BUT THEY REALLY ARE-

Usopp, gardening: Hey, can you bring me the hoe? Nami: Yeah, sure. A few minutes later Nami: Here you go. Usopp: Nami: Sanji: Why am I here?

Chopper: Why is everyone so obsessed with top or bottom? Honestly, I’d just be excited to have a bunk bed. Usopp: Usopp: I'm gonna tell them. Nami: Don't you dare.

Nami: We’re going to a candy store?! Usopp: No! It’s nighttime, candy stores are closed. Chopper: We’re gonna ROB a candy store?!?! Usopp, sighing: No-

Chopper: How do I ask someone out? Nami: Roses are red, violets are blue, guess what, my bed has room for two. Chopper: No! Usopp: Twinkle twinkle little star, we can do it in a car. Chopper: Stop! Robin: Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream, merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily I can make you scream. Chopper: I feel like the last one is verging dangerously into serial killer territory.

Chopper: Who would you kill out of the four of us, Nami? Nami: Usopp, easily. Usopp, laughing: What the fuck, man. Nami: Well, Sanji would be too easy. They’d probably be into it. Sanji, now standing in the doorway: What the fuck, man!?

Chopper: Today at 7 am, Robin poured a Monster energy drink in their coffee, said "I'm going to die" and drank the whole thing. Nami: I watched Robin brew their coffee with Monster instead of water. Three cups in two hours. I think they ascended into the astral realm. Usopp: The survivability of the human race never fails to amaze me.

Franky: Know why I called you in here? Robin: Because I accidentally sent you a dick pic. Franky: Stops pouring two glasses of wine. Accidentally?

Sanji: Stops making lunch an stand there confused

Franky: What are you in the mood for? Robin: World domination. Franky: That's a bit ambitious. Robin: You are my world. Franky: Aww… Robin: Franky: Robin: Franky: OH.

[symphonic-scream]

Okay.

New Arcana Swap

(tag for now is Transboy Haru I need a new name for this I know)

Anyways. It's been like 2 hours here's everything I have so far

So it's a Fool Haru au, but as a trans guy. He's been transitioning since the year before he started high school, and he's had top surgery. Now he's in his final year, and he's being shipped out to Tokyo after a summer in Juvi, all for something he didn't do

Toranosuke Yoshida as the Hierophant with Goro as the Hermit too it's. This ex politician who has been adopting these kids who's rich and important parents abandon them

Emperor Makoto. And then with Makoto, she's been "staying" with Kobayakawa as a pupil and StuCo Prez, and once he's confessed, she reaches out to her sister and returns home to live with Hanged Man Sae. She's sorta non-binary genderfluid? She doesn't have a term coined yet. But pronouns vary each day

Makoto: thanks, so much. For saving me, for helping me find my sister again, for accepting who I am, and- and for loving me,

Haru: oh, Mako dearest,

Makoto, crying: d-dont look at me like that, Loverboy. Just- let's hurry, the others are waiting

(in case you couldn't tell yet, this is Okujima)

Haru: hey why are you so close with that pharmacist?

Yoshida: oh, cause. I take pills?

It's cause Goro's on anti-psychotics lmao

It's how he so easily got Haru in with the counsellor Death Maruki

Maruki: yep, I see your files are completely true. So, I'll get you set up with your old regime of hormones

Haru: just like that?

Maruki: yep, but I also have to give you anger management sessions. Your parole demands it

Haru: ...I understand. Just, thank you. For understanding who I am

Chariot Shiho and Lovers Futaba, and the Temperance is Kanji-

Cause his husband is the Judgement and their wife is Fortune-

Moon Joker, Magician Ryuji (he's a lil lizard), Star Ann, Empress, uh, Yusuke?

Shiho a recovering amputee. She got in an accident that ended her volleyball career, but she's trying to not get too depressed about it

She cost them the national title. She ends up starting her training again to aim for the Paralympics, and manages the school team

Shiho: hey, why was Shit Head calling you a girl?

Haru: I, I'm trans,

Shiho: THAT BASTARD! Urgh, I'm so sorry, I know a teacher who'll help report that bullshit. I'm Shiho Suzui, school cripple. Nice to meet you, transfer boy

Haru: thanks, I'm Haru Yoshida. Thanks for not, freaking out on ke

Ryuji's a little bearded dragon in the real world

And MORGANA! He's like, Shinya's age? Human

He's playing the hero, trying to take down the Yakuza that ruined his family and left him alone, but he's young and scared, and the group saves him and he moves in with Yoshida too and he's like Haru's little brother

Goro: you're getting soft, old man.

Yoshida: maybe I am. Or maybe, I'm finally doing what I was meant to all along

He runs a homey beef bowl shop and Haru helps out, and Morgana sits at the counter slurping his noodles and Goro studies away in the back booth. Little family of three brothers

Goro: thanks for changing my heart, I guess

Futaba: no problem, man

Goro: ...I, feel like I need to tell you all. My mom was schizophrenic, and I've been being treated for it since Yoshida took me in. I, I'm gonna get myeds adjusted too. So I can be reliable for you all as navigator

Shiho: whatever you need to be yourself, and to be healthy

Haru: and if you end up like that again, we'll race back in and save you

It's shown in how his palace would change every other day. Like if you wait too long the infiltration route changes

Once he's doing better again, he gets back into school, and ends up in the other third year class with Makoto

Goro: your partner is a pain in my ass. They're making it hard to get that #1 spot

Haru: isn't my love so smart?

Goro: fucking gross. Bleh. I'm going to go watch a documentary on serial killers.

Toranosuke and his three sons, such a proud dad

Haru doesn't leave Tokyo at the end of the year. He gets formally adopted, and moves from the attic to the proper Yoshida house

Naoto: so. You're the leader of the Phantom Thieves?

Haru: ...what's it matter how I answer? They got their signed confession.

Naoto: I knew it, there was no way they'd have gotten a genuine one so quickly... Those bastards... Well, hopefully our chat can clear things up. Tell me, why'd you do it? How? The more I know, the better I can help you out

Naoto recognizes the boy from his husband's class roster, from his chats about the transfer boy that seemed to affect everyone around him

Naoto: so. Your dad kicked you out?

Haru: yes. Not for being a boy, he accepted that part of me. No, I caught on about some of his shadier business deals. So, he framed me for assault, disowned me. I got lucky, that Mr Yoshida agreed to house me, otherwise I would have probably ended up back in Juvi,

Okay this is getting too long so MORE UNDER THE CUT BUT WHAT DO YALL THINK LEMME KNOW

Okay. More

Shiho with her slight hobble cause of her prosthetic, and when she just *can't* wear it, she's on crutches, Like at the beach

She wears her leg to the beach, but takes it off when Makoto and Morgana egg her into running out to the water with them. Makoto loads her onto their back until they reach the water and then it's just. Splashing and fun

Goro's reading a book while Ryuji lies on a towel in the sun, soaking in the heat. Haru and Futaba are munching on popsicles and watching the others

Two Jokers

Moon is Akira, and Ren was in Shiho's role

They're Futaba's foster brothers. So that's why Futaba really wants to join up. To avenge Ren. And it's why Akira helps out

Futaba: hey, so Ren's awake. He's going to need physical therapy, but he's keeping all his parts. He's, also going to testify. He won't be returning to Shujin,

Akira: he's going to finish at Kosei. It'll be a better fit for him

Makoto, fluid, having more they or he days but still having she days. Masc she days, but still

Coloured bandanas around their upper arm for their different days. Now embracing their baby punk side

And smiling so much more, back home with their sister and able to be themselves with support, and having friends and a sweet boyfriend

Hifumi for the Faith and. Justice Kasumi and Sumire TRSUT ME

Haru: hey!

Makoto, wearing a dark red bandana: hey Loverboy, can I get a kiss?

Haru: course, love. How's my girl today?

Makoto: feeling great, Sis and I are going out tonight. She said you're welcome to join if you want? And then maybe come over after later to "study"?

Haru: how can I say no to you?

[goodnightmemes]

YELLOWJACKETS SEASON TWO SENTENCE STARTERS

❛ The only thing you should ever say to the police is, "I want my lawyer." That's why I put it on the cookie. ❜

❛ Before you go, you should take some Hawaii 5-0 punch. It's just regular Hawaiian punch, but I gave it a snazzier name. ❜

❛ I might have to break up with him. Unless I get lucky and he just disappears. ❜

❛ I don't want to talk about the future, anyways. I'm all about living in the moment. ❜

❛ You're, like, holding on to me or whatever. That's, like, haunting 101. ❜

❛ I had to cut back the rations again. There's not much left. ❜

❛ The thought of you with someone else always scared me. But it also turned me on. ❜

❛ I'll make a solid kidnapper out of you yet. ❜

❛ There's no such thing as false hope. There's just hope. ❜

❛ I'm not scared of you. I'm never gonna be scared of you. ❜

❛ This is how you're choosing to say "I love you," for the first time? ❜

❛ You weren't the only smart one. You just liked to think you were. ❜

❛ What if my only way of dealing is to numb myself into oblivion? ❜

❛ They're too focused on their own shit to even notice that I'm gone. ❜

❛ Well...you're not a picture of normalcy yourself. ❜

❛ I can feel your heart beating. ❜

❛ Everyone has their role. ❜

❛ Stop reliving this! You're in the vise grip of your trauma. ❜

❛ Every time that you try to save someone, a lot of bad shit happens. ❜

❛ Serial killers love puzzles. It's a documented fact. ❜

❛ For fuck's sake, shut up! Don't you see how much damage you are doing? ❜

❛ I don't even know where you end and I begin. ❜

❛ Believe me, if I could relax about anything ever, I promise you, I would. ❜

❛ As I'm sure you can imagine, emotions can run high in a place like this. ❜

❛ You never know when you might need to leave the country sans passport. ❜

❛ It made me feel like...I didn't know what was going to happen. And I liked that. ❜

❛ You can't blame yourself. We all did it together. ❜

❛ Dude, I don't even remember what socks I put on today. ❜

❛ I guess I'd kind of do anything to see him again, you know? ❜

❛ Moving in with you means everything in my life changes. ❜

❛ I think shit is gonna get a lot worse out here. ❜

❛ Thing is...it's one thing to point a gun at a person. It's another thing to use it. ❜

❛ There's a look people get when they realize they're going to die. It's that one. ❜

❛ My hand wasn't shaking because I was afraid. It was shaking because of how badly I wanted to do this. ❜

❛ I'm gonna live how I want to. How I know I'm meant to. And I'm gonna be the person that I know I am. ❜

❛ They're all lucky to have you. It's pretty rare to have a friend who's relentlessly got your back. ❜

❛ In small towns, everyone knows who and where the weirdos are. ❜

❛ I don't normally hitchhike and...look like this. ❜

❛ I know that you're depressed. I know that you can't see it, but I can always tell. ❜

❛ Yes, I am still depressed because it's kind of a forever thing, but I'm doing real work. ❜

❛ And I swear to God, if you lie to me again…I am so fucking over secrets. Like, I can't. ❜

❛ Oh, my fucking God. So, you… you killed a person? ❜

❛ Maybe one day I can talk to you about it, but for now, can that just be enough? ❜

❛ I don't understand why you won't see what's right in front of you. ❜

❛ I'm sorry I disappointed you. I love you even when you try to control me. But I'm okay now! ❜

❛ I think we need to get you out of here. ❜

❛ But I just got here. I don't - I don't want to leave you. ❜

❛ As parents, it's part of our job. We have to protect her, we have to shield her from making the same shitty mistakes we made. To throw our fucking bodies in front of her if that's what we have to do. ❜

❛ No, you can't deny this anymore. There is something deep inside of you that is connected to all of this. ❜

❛ So, you gonna tell me why you're here, or are we just gonna pretend this isn't super weird? ❜

❛ I'm doing a fucking thing here. I don't need you getting in my way. ❜

❛ If I happen to mention sacrificing anything on an altar, well, just ignore that part, okay? Thanks. ❜

❛ Do you get how lucky we are? Some people never find someone they trust enough to share their deepest secrets. ❜

❛ You think I'm capable of murder? ❜

❛ You're charming and impulsive, which are traits of most serial killers. Only, you pull it off. ❜

❛ Look, all I'm trying to say is, I like you regardless of your extracurricular activities. ❜

❛ That's medication for me to mind my own business. You should take two. ❜

❛ Maybe you don't have to be dying to have regrets. ❜

❛ I'm mixing my pop culture metaphors 'cause I'm fucking upset! ❜

❛ I can't ask you for your help 'cause I don't want to hurt any more of the people I love. ❜

❛ You should know better than anyone we can't define a person based on their past. ❜

❛ I don't need your fucking prayers, I need you to have my back. ❜

❛ We weren't alone out there. ❜

❛ You should get the hell away from me. I'm poison. I ruin people. ❜

❛ We did so much fucked up shit out there. And, yeah, maybe it was to survive. Maybe. But I don't think we deserved to. ❜

❛ Women have been having babies for millions of years. You're gonna be fine. ❜

❛ The wilderness recognizes your sacrifice. And so do I. ❜

❛ The power of that place. The god of that place. We did terrible things in Its name. ❜

❛ It's all your fault. There's just something wrong with you. You always do this. ❜

❛ Aren't you probably the last person who should be giving me legal advice right now? ❜

❛ I know I have no right to ask you this, but truly, what is going on with you? ❜

❛ I just want to know you haven't given up on love. ❜

❛ Maybe I have given up on love. But don't flatter yourself. It's not because of you. ❜

❛ You know I don't deserve your friendship, right? I just hurt people. ❜

❛ Suffering is inevitable. And only by meeting it with compassion can we truly begin to grow. ❜

❛ I never even wanted to be a mom. ❜

❛ I did not start out a bad person. But in case you haven't noticed, life doesn't tend to turn out the way you think it will. ❜

❛ Oh, no. What happened? Fuck, are we going to jail? ❜

❛ It's you and me against the whole world. ❜

❛ You lost a lot of blood and you were unconscious. We thought we lost you. ❜

❛ I kept surviving all this shit that should've killed me, and I just...I figured it meant something. You know, like maybe it meant that I had some kind of purpose in all of this, but, uh...Yeah. I'm not fucking seeing it. ❜

❛ I need to know why the fuck I'm still here. ❜

❛ Shouldn't you be in therapy? ❜

❛ I'm not like you, okay? I don't think of killing as a joke. ❜

❛ I really am very grateful that your hobby seems to be figuring out how to be the perfect serial killer. ❜

❛ I've always kept my daughter at arm's length. I think just out of fear that she would...die, I guess. Or maybe that she was never even real to begin with. ❜

❛ I can't have another death on my hands. ❜

❛ I can't wait for you. I don't have that kind of time. ❜

❛ Tell me, is there anything of value in this life that doesn't come with risk? ❜

❛ Does a hunt that has no violence feed anyone? ❜

❛ What, do you want to casually reminisce about our time in fucking oblivion? ❜

❛ Well, if I'm repressing things I don't know about, I am very okay with never figuring it out. ❜

❛ I know there's a lot of pain. You need to let it out. ❜

❛ I don't understand. You measured the grave to the standard six feet? ❜

❛ You're lying to me. And I want to know why. ❜

❛ Maybe [name] dying wouldn't be the worst thing. ❜

❛ When they get a whiff of how much of a liar your mom is, they'll realize that the ❜ psychopath apple doesn't fall far from the fucked-up, man-eating tree. ❜

❛ So, this is what you've all been doing with your lives? Chasing blackmailers and murdering lovers? ❜

❛ I think we can agree that it's in everyone's best interest that [name] is gone. ❜

❛ If I die, don't waste my body. Promise me. ❜

❛ I thought you loved all of me, like I love all of you. ❜

❛ We put ourselves in danger for you. You've been using us! ❜

❛ I've been trying to fix...No. I have been telling myself that I've been trying to fix things and make the problems go away, but the truth is, I've just been doing stuff that makes it worse. ❜

❛ We're all pretty messed up. It's time we finally fucking talk about it. ❜

❛ This isn't something that therapies can fix. ❜

❛ I think that you might be taking this whole, like, cult leader persona thing... a tad far. ❜

❛ I never meant... I didn't want this. ❜

❛ You started this. It's done. And it's going to save all of our lives. ❜

❛ I appreciate you trying to teach me...forgiveness. It's a nice idea. ❜

❛ I let him die in my place. It was supposed to be me. ❜

❛ You're a good person. You really don't belong in this place. ❜

❛ I'm not ashamed. I'm glad I'm alive. And I don't think that any of us who are still here should feel ashamed of that. Ever. ❜

❛ That was a beautiful false confession. I could see it came out of real love. ❜

❛ You want to help me move this body? ❜

❛ It's up to you. You can submit. Or you can run. ❜

❛ You know there's no "it," right? It was just us. ❜

❛ I never wanted to be in charge. ❜

❛ No. I'm not supposed to be here. ❜

❛ This is exactly where we belong. We've been here for years. ❜

❛ It's not evil. Just hungry. Like us. ❜

[ya-what--ya-erster]

Goodbye Don't Last Forever

Javey. Kind of funny ngl. Enjoy.

David Jacobs was eighteen and newly graduated when his girlfriend, Francis Sullivan, left for Santa Fe, leaving no goodbye and no way to contact her.

David went crazy when she left. He loved her and she left without a word to him. He made some stupid (but not too regrettable) decisions in the time after. Dyed his dirty blonde hair a dark shade of brown. Started wearing his glasses again. Went outside only when required (as in almost never). Stopped talking to many of his friends.

Only two of the habits died, and fortunately it was those last two. He found himself to be pretty fine within a few months of her being gone.

Six years later, David Jacobs was 24 years old and getting a new roommate.

"Hi, are you David?" A confident voice came from behind him.

He turned to face- woah he's hot- the person asking the question.

"Yeah, yes, that's me. David Jacobs. Hi."

The man smiled and held out a hand to shake.

"Jack Kelly."

Those eyes... that handshake. So familiar. But the familiarity was out of reach in David's mind.

So he stood up a little straighter, smiled back, and said, "Nice to meet you in person finally. I mean I trusted Albert enough to not find me a serial killer roommate but... I feel very assured now, haha..."

"I won't kill ya, Davey."

Davey...

"Good to know. Same here. Do you need help taking anything up?"

Jack shook his head. "All I's got is this." He nodded to a moderately sized suitcase that he was gripping.

"Oh. Sorry, I didn't-"

"It's nothing, Dave. I just had to leave kinda quickly and didn't have much anyways."

"Well, uh. Let me uh... I guess, follow me?"

...

David was down bad for his roommate. And, down bad as in like, Taylor Swift "if I can't have him/I might just die it would make no difference."

Something about him, Jack, felt so familiar in all the most wonderful ways. His smile was a smile David felt like he had seen dozens of times.

David wanted to know why. He wanted to know why this boy felt so natural in the environment. Why he seemed to be the missing piece in David's life.

He was going to find out.

Not today though, he decided, when Jack entered the apartment looking like he was about to burst into tears.

"Hey, are you okay?" David asked slowly.

Jack nodded stiffly, putting his head down and throwing his bag and coat to the floor.

"Jack, you look sad."

"I'm fine."

"Jack."

"I ain't- you don't gotta be all in my business." Jack was heading to his tiny bedroom, so David grabbed his arm to stop him.

"You can tell me, you know?"

Jack leaned forward, hugging David, beginning to cry.

"Woah, hey. Hey, it's alright, let it out..." David wished Jack would hug him more often, and not while crying.

Jack continued to cry for maybe three minutes, David didn't know exactly. What David did know is that when Jack made eye contact with him, he looked like he had done something horrible.

"I ain't a real boy, Dave."

David's heart could have shattered just then, hearing Jack sound so broken.

"What do you mean, you aren't a real boy?"

"I wasn't- I'm not- I am a boy. I know and promise that I am but I just- wasn't born that way and I feel like a fraud and I get sad sometimes."

"That's okay to be sad, Jack. But you're a boy, I know you are. If you say you're a boy, you're a boy. No, how old are you?"

"Twenty-four."

"Okay, Jack Kelly, you are no boy, you're a freakin' man."

Jack smiled a little, wiping his eyes dry.

"Thank ya, Davey."

...

David was having none of this "stay up until 3 AM painting" bullshit.

"Jack Kelly, you will start going to bed at a decent time or so help me-"

"I'm fine, Dave!" Jack defended himself.

"You drank four coffees today and three energy drinks. I don't even know how you're still alive!"

"Fine, fine. I will be in bed no later than midnight."

"Is that the best I'm gonna get?"

"Yup."

David sighed, deciding to give in.

"At least show me what you've been working on into the ungodly hours of the night?"

"Maybe someday." Jack smiled mysteriously and disappeared once again into his room.

David was not staring at his fine ass as he retreated. He wasn't.

...

"Davey, do you got any food?"

David was regretting getting a roommate but also enjoyed having someone around. He didn't appreciate having to buy random shit every other week because Jack had a craving and pretty much no money. (He spent his money on rent and art supplies, which David didn't mind because his apartment was cheaper and Jack's art was amazing.)

"We have fruit snacks and spaghetti-o's if that qualifies as food. We might also have a banana."

Jack strolled into the kitchen area after David's previous statement and pulled out a packet of fruit snacks, a can of spaghetti-o's, and the blender.

"What the fuck are you doing?" David asked, shocked and amused all at once.

"I'm making me some dinner, you want some?"

"Jack, there is no way in Hell you are going to eat- drink spaghetti-o's and fruit snacks put through the blender. It's gonna be terrible."

"Actually, no it isn't. My old friend dared me to do it and it actually tastes good."

David had a brief memory flash through his mind.

"Francis! I dare you to put the two most different things you can think of in the blender and then drink it." Race shouted.

"Okay, I'll do it." Francis smiled that daredevil smile of hers and got started. Spaghetti-o's and fruit snacks.

When it was complete, Francis took a long drink.

"Wow. That's actually not terrible."

"Davey, you good?"

David nodded. "Sorry, just. You just reminded me of something."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. Ex-girlfriend."

"Thought you said you're gay?"

"She kind of helped me out on discovering that."

"Well. That's nice of her. How so?"

"Uh. It's a long story."

"I bet I can handle it. Besides, I have an abomination to drink. I'll listen."

"Oh. Okay. Well. Basically, she decided she was going to Santa Fe and wasn't going to, you know, say goodbye to me or anyone. And I spent a long time angry and then realized I didn't really miss her romantically at all and just was pissed, and then me and my friend Albert accidentally fucked when we were drunk and I was like 'wow that's allowed?' and anyways uh Al and I aren't and weren't interested in each other at all, we were just drunk like I said, but then it all made sense why I wasn't like, sad over the 'love of my life' leaving because it was just a high school girlfriend and I'm not even into girls. So I'm not even mad at her anymore really I'm just gay and confused and I've talked a lot now sorry."

David looked up at Jack for a reaction. He was wearing this face... David could not name the emotion.

"What was her name?"

Huh. Weird question.

"Why?"

"Well, I was just wonderin' if maybe I met her, since I's come here from Santa Fe and all."

"Oh. Yeah, uh. Her name's Francis Sullivan."

"Have a picture?"

"Yeah, one sec." David scrolled through his phone's camera roll until he found her. "Here."

The picture made Jack frown, and David kind of would have done anything to make him smile again.

"You know her?" David asked.

"Yeah, uh. I knew her."

David's heart sped up.

"Really? Is she doing okay? Is she alright? Do you know where she lives, cause I might need to go-"

"Davey. Stop."

"What?"

"You can't exactly go visit her."

"Why not?"

Jack seemed to be looking inside himself instead of at David when he spoke.

"She was... the real depressed type, Dave. Always sad. She never smiled, I don't think. She was in a real bad state of mind."

"What're you-"

"She ain't alive no more."

Everything stopped in David's head.

"What?"

"I'm real sorry, Dave. She just ain't... But I'm here."

"What's that supposed to mean? 'You're here?'"

Jack hesitated before opening his mouth. "She didn't exactly... die the way you're thinking. She, uh. She just... more... changed? She ain't Francis anymore. She cut her hair and went on T and got top surgery and goes by a boy's name now, and he/him. So, uh, tellin' ya she died was probably not the brightest idea but that was an in-the-moment decision."

"Good for him. What does that have to do with you being here?"

Jack made absolute eye contact with David, wondering how he could be so fucking stupid, and held it. Held it as he crossed the room and held it up until the moment he pulled David into a hug.

"I'm sorry for leavin' you. I just had ta get away."

David jerked away from Jack in a quick movement.

"You? You're... You- I can't-" David's brain was moving too quickly and all he could think to do was punch Jack in the face as hard as humanly possible.

Which he did.

"Son of a bitch- Dave! I only told ya cause I thought you said ya weren't mad anymore!"

"Yeah, well. Now I am, asshole. You... You deep friend burnt-ass dino nugget dickhead. You absolute.... I can't even. How dare you? I fucking loved you, yes even if I'm gay now, and you, you just ran the fuck off and never bothered contacting me for six years. I would have understood if you needed to leave, needed to leave me, needed... whatever. I would have given you your space. I hate you."

Jack looked hurt. It made David feel good. All that pain he went through and it was being passed on.

"Davey-"

"David."

"Right, sorry. David. I'm really sorry. I don't- I never meant ta hurt you. To be honest, I thought you'd be glad if I left and never came back."

David felt less good.

"I just- I wanted to feel like I could be free. It didn't really... go as planned. Because I just realized I wanted to come back. Mostly for you."

David didn't stop to think. David just kissed Jack like he was hungry for it.

"I fucking hate you." He said, pulling away.

"No you don't."

"Don't test your luck."

A small moment of touching silence passed.

"So..." Jack started. "You slept with Al?"

"Now I actually do hate you. Get out, I'm calling him. Maybe he'll be nice to me."

"Davey... I love you. I always did."

"I'm... good to know. I can't- I'm still mad, bitch."

Jack just laughed, and he knew right then that it would all be fine.

A/N: hope y'all liked it :) It'll be on ao3 asap

[silentglassbreak]

Anonymous

Noah Sebastian x OFC

-

This story is flying out of me folks. Hope the few readers I have so far are enjoying! Again, if you want to be tagged, lemme know.

Warnings: Alcohol abuse, overall abuse, mild violence (ie. bar fights), smut, swearing, and altogether just a lot of fuckery.

+It goes without saying, this is a work of fiction. All of my words are my own. Plagiarism is a crime.

Part 4 - Never Know

The ride back to Calabasas was surprisingly more comfortable than I expected. Once it was just the two of us, Noah had become rather chatty, going on about the show, the crowd, the lighting that kept pissing him off, the meet and greet.

“It always amazes me how many people walk around with my face on their shirts.” He laughed to himself.

“Yeah, I’ve always found that kind of strange, wearing another human on your body.”

I felt his eyes burning a hole into the side of my head.

“That sounded very serial killer-ish?” His tone was apprehensive and playful.

“Who says that’s not what I meant?” I managed to hold my composure for about 30 seconds before bursting into a fit of laughter, him following right behind.

“Yeah, sure pipsqueak.”

My jaw dropped. “Excuse me! Not all of us are walking Elm trees, okay?!”

“Yeah, and not all of us are shorter than 5 feet!”

My hand batted over at him, his arms flailing in defense while he laughed at me.

“I am five-foot-one, mister!”

He held his stomach, his laughter roaring.

I set my head back on the headrest, my wheels inching forward at a snail’s pace. Normally, a drive to Calabasas from Hollywood would only take about 45 minutes, but a wreck on the 101 Freeway had us in gridlock. We had already been sitting, barely moving for about thirty minutes.

Normally, I wouldn’t mind. We had good music on the radio, it was a cool, crisp evening, and Noah was plenty good company. However, my bladder was going to betray me soon, and I could feel it.

I squirmed in my seat for a moment, trying to arrange my jeans to take some pressure off my bladder. I must have been obvious, because Noah spoke up.

“You okay?”

I stopped wiggling immediately. “Hm?” He raised an eyebrow at me. “Oh, yeah. Just getting restless.”

“You sure?”

I smiled earnestly. “Yeah.”

“Well I don’t know about you but I’ve got to pee like a motherfucker.”

I sighed loudly. “Oh my GOD me too!”

He laughed and turned the heat up in the car. I looked over at him inquisitively’

He put his hands up. “It helps. I don’t know why, but it helps.”

-

Thirty more minutes of traffic and we were finally driving winding roads through neighborhoods I had only dreamed of. I helped sell houses, but not houses like this. He finally directed me to a gated driveway, where he got out and held his wallet up to a small terminal. Slowly the gate creaked open, and he jumped back in the car.

“You want to come in and use the restroom?”

I bit my lip, staring up at the huge house before me. It was intimidating just to look at, let alone imagine myself inside of.

“Erm…” I nervously picked at my fingernail. “That’s okay, I can wait.”

He gave me a look that told me he wasn’t accepting that. “No you can’t, c’mon. No one will be home for a while.”

He hopped out before I could protest further. The call of nature was stronger than my will to fight, so I followed, hastily grabbing my purse and hitting the door locks.

I followed him up a pathway through a large grassy yard, through a door that I couldn’t even guess how tall it was.

When we walked in, I was surprised. It wasn’t how I pictured a rock band to live. He had mentioned him and the entire band lived there. I’m not entirely sure what I expected, piles of beer cans? Guitars everywhere? Random studio equipment? It felt silly now, thinking it back over.

It was normal. Sure, there were guitars hung over the mantle neatly, obviously not played much, with framed records hung between. But the couch looked so comfortable, a throw blanket draped over the back. The staircase wound through the living room, and beyond I imagined the kitchen was somewhere deeper into the home.

“Bathroom’s right there.” Noah pointed to a door just off the staircase. “I’m going to use the one in my room. I’m going to change real quick too. I’ll only be a sec.”

And with that, he was bounding up the staircase, two steps at a time. He really did have to pee.

I cautiously made my way over to the door he pointed out. Inside I found a half bathroom, only a toilet and sink. Black rugs lined the floor and bright red towels hung from the holders. I locked the door and quickly made my way to the toilet.

Washing my hands, I happened to glance at myself in the mirror. Holy fuck, I was a mess.

My eyeliner and mascara were smeared under my eyes, my jet black hair was frizzed, and I had something on my sweater. What the hell did I manage to spill on myself?! Nachos. The god damn nachos.

I quickly took my sweater off, exposing my plain black tank top underneath, tying it around my waist. I pulled my contact case from my purse and easily removed my lenses, before splashing water on my cheeks and rubbing dampened toilet paper under my eyes to rid the excess smudgy liner.

I slipped my glasses on quickly, cursing the metal frames for aging me at least ten years, and threw my hair up in a ponytail, smoothing it out as best as I could.

When I came out of the bathroom, I heard footsteps from the top of the staircase.

“Better?” I looked up at him, hands clutching around the strap of my cross-body bag.

“Much, thank you.”

Noah had a curious smile on his face that made me rebalance my weight in each foot. “What?”

He shook his head and made his way down the stairs. “Nice glasses.”

I instinctively turned my face away. When I looked back, he was next to me. His eyes caught mine in a trance, dark and looming. I couldn’t feel if I was breathing anymore, and I’m not entirely sure if I cared in that moment.

That ‘moment’ went on for longer than I would’ve liked before his eyebrows shot up.

“Sugar!”

This broke me from my daze, confusing me. I raised an eyebrow but too quick, he grabbed me by the wrist and started leading me to the kitchen past the staircase.

“We need sugar.” He let go of me at the counter, opening the freezer drawer of the fridge. He came out with a tub of vanilla ice cream, and loudly pulled two spoons out of the drawer next to me, dropping one in front of me.

Flipping the top off of the tub, he dug his spoon in and stuffed it into his mouth, his tongue swiping over his bottom lip. I tried not to stare at him.

“I think I’m okay.”

He shook his head at my argument.

“Nope. You said that as my sponsor, you’d eat ice cream with me if I needed it.” He pointed at the tub. “Eat.”

I raised my eyebrow and picked up the spoon, getting only a touch of ice cream on the end.

“I don’t remember saying exactly that.”

He shrugged, but I still put the sweet, cold spoon in my mouth. It did help.

We sat in silence for a moment, devouring the fresh tub of ice cream for a few minutes before he grabbed it and headed for a tall black table near the countertop. I followed.

We sat adjacent, tub in the center, and continued to gorge.

“So, am I going to get fat from all the sugar?”

This made me chuckle and shake my head. “You’ve got to counteract the carbs. Work out. That also helps because of the endorphins.”

“That sounds like a lot of work.” His tongue was cleaning the underside of the spoon, and I had evidently stopped mid-bite to ogle this, because he smirked at me.

“Sorry.” He sheepishly put the spoon down.

I blinked rapidly and coughed out a giggle. “No, no, I’m sorry.”

Standing up, I turned around and headed for the sink. Quickly rinsing water over my spoon, I set it in the metal basin with a loud clink.

I felt his arm come up beside me, setting his down as well. I hadn’t even heard him walk over.

He didn’t move away from my side, just standing directly behind me. I felt the warmth of his breath on the bare skin at the nape of my neck. His hand was still resting on the countertop to my right and I saw his knuckles turning white where they grasped the edge.

This was bad. I didn’t know what it was, but it was bad.

He did back away after a moment, breathing loudly. I took an extra second to compose myself before turning around.

When I did, there were those eyes again. Boring into me. However, after a second, he smiled, lifting his hand to my face. I was frozen, entirely unaware of what was happening.

His thumb reached up, and swiped across my bottom lip. Is he serious?

When he pulled his hand back, however, the creamy white liquid made me chuckle. I had ice cream on my lip. I reached up and wiped my mouth, while he laughed and just wiped his hand on the sweat pants he was wearing.

“I’m such a mess today.”

He shook his head in response. “I don’t think so.”

And suddenly, the air was thick. Thicker than water. Thicker than syrup. I couldn’t even breathe. His lips were so close. It wouldn’t take much, just a swift movement. A trip? A leer in the wrong direction?

His eyes were studying mine, back and forth. Mine were fixated on his mouth, pink from the cold. Puffy. Absolutely mouth watering.

My body began pulling back, when a hand grabbed me by the back of the neck, fast as lightning, and pulled me in.

His mouth was hot, despite our dessert. His tongue was searching through my mouth, my eyes rolling back behind my lids.

My instincts kicked in and my hands grabbed his shirt, pulling his body closer.

A low, guttural growl escaped his throat before his hand reached down and grabbed my ass, lifting me in the air. He pushed me back onto the countertop so we were at an even level.

I can’t say how long this went on, our mouths fighting each other, my hands gripping his hair. His hands were sliding up and down my thighs, fingertips touching my hips. My body was electric white hot need.

It had been so so long.

But at that moment, that stupid, idiotic fucking moment, my brain kicked in.

He has a girlfriend.

He has a girl-friend!

He has a girlfriend!

YOU’RE HIS FUCKING SPONSOR!

This brought me back, my hands forfeiting his hair, and pushing my body backwards. The back of my head bumped the cabinet behind me, but not hard enough to care.

His pupils were blown wide, making his irises appear to be entirely black.

“Leena…I…I’m so fucking sor-“ But before he could finish, I had hopped down from the counter.

“I have to go.” I padded to the front door, not looking back. I jumped in my truck and nearly peeled away from the driveway, only slowing down to allow the gate to open again.

What the fuck did I just do?

-

I forced myself to sleep that night, refusing to process what all had just happened.

I regretted it the next day, when I woke up with blackened eye crust and stiff from wearing my hair in a ponytail over night.

I had only the forethought to take my jeans and bra off. I cursed myself when I saw my reflection the following morning. It was horrendous.

My hair was askew, half ripped from the ponytail. My eyes were bloodshot, which is odd given I didn’t think I had cried. Maybe I cried on my way home? Who knows. I actively tried to block it all out.

This was unacceptable behavior from me. I’m the responsible one. The older one. The sober-senior, so to speak.

To only add insult to injury, I had forgotten to grab my energy drinks last night, so I was stuck making a good old fashioned cup of coffee with my barely used Keurig.

While I waited for it to brew, I grabbed my phone out of my purse, groaning when I saw it was on 24% battery. I didn’t even plug it in.

I did notice that I had several fresh texts. One from Laura, one from Abel, and one from Noah.

Naturally, I wanted to open Laura’s first, but my morals forced me to open Noah’s first. He might need his sponsor (which is all I am to him).

Noah: Leena, I can’t even begin to tell you how awful I feel. I’m so so so so so so so sorry. I completely understand if you don’t want to sponsor me anymore. Please just let me know you made it home safe.

Fuck that guy, and how god damn sweet he was. He shouldn’t be apologizing, I should. I should know better.

The text had come in at 11:46PM, right after I left. I sighed, typing a fast response.

Me: Please don’t apologize. It’s not your fault. I’m sorry. I can still sponsor you, maybe we just see each other in group only?

I added a smiley face to hopefully convey that I wasn’t actually angry at him.

His response came too fast for me to ignore.

Noah: I understand. See you Tuesday. I’ll call if I need you.

I felt like the message was almost cold, but I ignored it.

I didn’t even bother texting Laura before calling her.

“Hey babes! I’m so fucking tired this morning. I don’t know how I thought I was going to make it through work today. My back is kill-“

I had to cut her off. “He fucking kissed me.”

The other end went completely silent.

“What?!?!” Her shrill voice mimicked my own panic.

“Yup.”

“I fucking knew you liked him!”

I sneered. “Didn’t you hear me?! He kissed me!”

“Oh okay, so you pushed him off?”

I hesitated. I did, just after being an entire fucking moron for at least two minutes. “Y-Yes.”

My voice was such a God damn traitor.

“Oh no, Leena.” Her tone was serious now. I didn’t even have the balls to respond. “This is bad, babe. You can’t fall for your sponsee.”

“Fall for him?!” My turn to be shrill. “I don’t even know him!”

Poor Angel whined at me from down near my legs. I padded to the back door and let him out.

“Exactly! And see how drawn to him you are already! You need to stay away from him.”

“I’m his sponsor, Laura. I can’t exactly ditch the guy.”

She sighed. “No, but you can keep a distance.”

“Yeah. I told him we should only see each other in group.”

“What did he say?” I read her his response. She tsk’ed. “He’s butthurt.”

“He has a girlfriend.”

“Apparently one he can’t care about too much.”

I sighed. “It’s the alcohol withdrawal, dude. It makes you do stupid shit. Makes you crave…stuff.”

“Like hot little brunette girls?” I rolled my eyes.

“Oh my fucking god.”

She laughed then. “I’m fucking with you.”

“Please don’t. I’m fucking struggling here.” I groaned loudly. “I want a drink so bad.”

Her tone changed. “Babes?” I hung my head over the kitchen counter. “Maybe you should call your sponsor.”

My head snapped up. “You’re right. I’m going to.”

“Call me later if you want.”

I agreed and hung up. Scrolling through my phone, I called the one person I trusted more than myself.

The phone rang only a second before his voice rang out on the other end. “Hey! You okay?”

“Hey Daddy. No, I’m not.”

-

After a good two hour talk with my Dad, a scalding hot shower, and three pieces of cinnamon toast, I was curled up in bed, arm slung over Angel who thoroughly enjoyed our lazy days, watching The Conjuring. It was nearly 8PM, and I had no other plans. My day off tomorrow would be for laundry and cleaning. Maybe a run? Today was for sulking and healing.

Which I could do, if my phone didn’t start ringing.

Noah’s name flashed across the screen and I groaned before fixing my tone.

“Hello?”

“When does this stop being so fucking hard?” His voice was agitated, and much louder than I was used to. He was worked up, which was dangerous when you’re trying not to drink.

I sat up straight in bed, hitting pause on my remote.

“Noah, what happened?”

I heard him huffing on the other end of the phone. “No, answer that for me. Fucking, please!” He was yelling now.

I stiffened my voice. “Noah, please don’t yell at me.”

I heard him take three calculated breaths.

“I’m sorry. I’m just pissed off.”

I nodded, as if he could see. “It’s okay. Talk to me, what happened?”

“Lily and I got into a fight.”

“Lily?”

“My girlfriend.” I felt my confidence slip.

“Oh.”

“Yeah. I tried to tell her I didn’t want to meet her for drinks. That I was still sick. She told me I had been acting so weird and told me I’ve been so off lately.”

I laid back on my pillows, letting him continue to vent.

“Which says a lot because the only difference is, I’ve been fucking SOBER! I’ve been working my ass off to get better, and she tells me I’m essentially boring. Like, I’m a vocalist for fuck’s sake! Alcohol murders my voice! I can’t sing for shit when I’ve been drinking! And I always end up fighting someone. Some rando at the bar, or Nick, or Jolly. It’s a miracle I haven’t been arrested!”

His rant was only getting stronger.

“I want to get healthy. I want to be better. And that’s me being off? She hasn’t even noticed I’ve been sober!”

He made a sound that was something of a growling, which made my stomach flip. I ignored it. But I could hear his breathing slow.

“Feel better?” My voice was small, unsure if he was quite done.

His voice snorted on the other end. “Yeah, I do, actually.”

I smiled, sad. “Good.”

The line was quiet for a few, just breathing from each end.

“Maybe it’s time to tell her, Noah? Maybe you should tell all of them. You’ll be surprised who may support you.” He shrugged.

“I don’t know how.”

“I get that, but you know them better than anyone else. You got this. I’m sure they love you, and will understand.” I’m not sure, but he needs the comfort right now.

“Thanks Mileena.” I had never heard him say my full name. “Sorry for calling.”

I laughed. “Never apologize for needing your sponsor.”

“My friend?”

This made me pause, but I did respond. “Of course.”

[hils79]

Hils Watches Lovely Runner - Ep 13

Wait, what? A few days earlier from when????

Wait, I thought she wasn't allowed to say anything about the future. How does giving her brother winning lottery numbers not count?

Dude, that is literally your job. He escaped from your custody in the first place!

I mean it sounds bad when you say it like that...

She should form a 'time travel compulsive liar' club with Shen Wei

Well now her mum know she was lying because Sunjae just showed up, and Sunjae has just figured out she was faking having gone back to the future. Im Sol is going to be in so much trouble!

I see this a lot in dramas. Do Korean phone messages really know if the phone has been turned off or is it just a plot device?

Sunjae is apparently way more worried about her than her own mother

I mean I can see why she's freaking out. She's already in the past, and she's run out of time travel attempts (still not sure why that is) so if something happens to him now there's no way for her to fix it. Even if she hadn't run out of time travel attempts can she even go further back into to past? All three times she's travelled from 2023 and she's never gone further back than when she ended up the first time.

Oh, no, but if the serial killer is watching her then he now knows that the cops are there. Oh no.

Yeah, sure, why bother looking for him when his face is on some posters. I do admire their commitment to doing a little as possible. All of the useful things they've done are only because Im Sol told them to. And the dude escaped 5 mins after they caught him.

Oh no she screamed for help and scared him off and now he's run into Sunjae instead. That's going to do nothing to help with the huge amound of guilt she already has.

OH SHIT!

Oh no and now the sad Jongho song is playing this is not good

Holy fuck he just went off the cliff! I mean I guess this isn't the end because, you know, it's not the end and there's still another 3 episodes left but I have no idea how this is going to get fixed this time! Wow.

Well shit.

Aww no he's a soloist now I DON'T LIKE THIS

I feel like I've seen him in something before but according to MDL I have not. Although Under the Queen's Umbrella is on my to watch list

Ah, there she is. This is what I love most about her. And obv I am sad about Sunjae but I am sure that will get resolved before the end.

Ooh I think this is the first time we've seen Taesung in the present day

Taesung is a cop now? Aww he followed in his dad's footsteps in the end. Maybe he'll be a bit more efficient

I do like that while she's clearly still grieving for Sunjae she remembered what he said about saving her being his choice so she's trying to respect that choice. And there's time for drunken angry resignation letter shenanigans

(Brian Blessed voice) SUNJAE'S ALIVE?????

HE TIME TRAVELLED AS HE WAS DYING!!! I was trying to figure out how this was going to get fixed and this didn't even cross my mind. I love that nothing in this drama is predictable

Okay, he didn't time travel but that's when his watch became a new time machine and Im Sol used it so that she never met Sunjae at all. THIS IS SO TRAGIC.

[comicglitterr0909]

Playing with Shadows (part 2)

William Afton x Fem!Reader Finally I finished part two of playing with shadows, if you haven't read part one then a short lil summary of part one is reader is an fbi agent who is tasked with making William Afton fall for them, and we get to know William and his kids and it ends off with William inviting us over for dinner. Honestly just read part one its easier.

But for those who did!! Heres part two!! Its the last part! Hope you guys enjoy! (2.7k+ words) Warnings: Cussing, a guy being a pervert but nothing happens he just says something creepy.

8:00 am. My alarm goes off and I quickly shut it off, getting up and getting ready a bit faster than normal. Today was the big day after all, I get to have dinner with the Afton family, while also trying to find solid evidence that William Afton is a child murderer. I quickly put on the uniform I have to wear, clipping my nametag on and taking one last look at myself in the mirror. I sigh, fuck, Im an fbi agent, im not supposed to get attached to people, let alone people im investigating. But of course I get attached to a serial killer's family. Well…I guess I don't know for sure if he's a serial killer, there's hope, if he isn't, if the family has just gotten really unlucky then maybe it would be okay? Maybe I could be a part of their family. But, then again, I would have to quit my job as an FBI agent. He definitely wouldn't like me anymore if I told him the only reason I was actually there is because I thought he killed a bunch of kids. Whatever, I need to stop thinking about that, I have a job to do. I grab my car keys and head to Freddys, parking in the parking lot and walking inside. 

I notice the afton kids are already at Freddys, they must’ve spent the night at Williams instead of their moms. Their faces all light up when they see me, Elizabeth runs over and gives me a big hug. “Y/N I missed you! Are you excited to have dinner with us tonight?” She says excitedly, jumping up and down. Evan and Micheal walk over. “Yeah, I’m really excited! What are you guys making for dinner?” I ask them with a grin. Evan giggles. “Daddy told us we had to figure out your favorite food without it being too obvious because he really wants to impress you!” Evan exclaims. A faint blush appears on my cheeks, he wanted to impress me? That's honestly really cute. “Evan you dumb shit, you weren't supposed to tell her that!” Micheal says as he smacks the back of Evans head, Evan starts to cry and runs off. “Oh c'mon now Micheal, go apologize to your brother, he didn’t know any better.” I say crossing my arms, damn I really feel like a Mom right now. “Fineee.” Micheal stubbornly says before running off to find where Evan went while Elizabeth stays by my side as I walk into the kitchen. 

“So y/n what is your favorite meal??” Elizabeth says as she climbs on top of the kitchen counter as I’m putting my waitress apron on. I don’t know why the waitresses have to wear an apron, I don't even cook things, oh well. “Oh uh, I’d probably say like (your fav food)” Elizabeth's eyes light up, she smiles and climbs off the counter. “Okay!!! I’ll go tell Daddy!!” She sprints out of the kitchen to go tell William about my favorite food. God these kids are so sweet, how am I going to abandon them if I have to?? “Are you having dinner with the Aftons?” I turned around and saw Aaron had asked me that. “Oh uh yeah.” “Damn, you must be special, Mr Afton usually is super mean to us, you're like the first one i’ve seen em be nice to.” Well that's pretty interesting, I mean I knew he was extra nice to me but he never seemed like the mean boss type. More like the creepy boss type, but Aaron has worked here for awhile so he wouldn’t lie. That is unless of course, he does lie. I stand there awkwardly nodding before looking away from Aaron. Y’know I think I preferred him when he was high, cause I can tell he’s not right now and he’s giving me pervert vibes. “Yeah… it must be because you're really hot. I mean, if I was the boss I’d have you be my personal assistant so I could stare at your ass all day.” Yup, definitely prefer high Aaron. He moves closer to me, but before he can reach me, William comes up behind him and grabs him by the back of his shirt, lifting him up. Don’t get me wrong, Aaron is like 5’5, super skinny weirdo but William made it look easy to lift him up. “Firstly, Aaron, you're fired, secondly, if I ever see you around y/n and you say that shit to her again, I will beat the everloving shit out of you. Get out of my restaurant.” And with that, William lets Aaron go, and he scrambles out grabbing his stuff and leaving faster than ever. Immediately after he’s out of sight William puts that familiar smile back on his face, walking closer to me and putting his hand on my shoulder. “Are you okay? I had no idea he was such a perv I wouldn’t have hired him.” Fuck, this whole case is turning into a “try not to catch feelings for William Afton/a potential child murderer challenge”. “Yeah, um I’m alright. Thank you.” I say, smiling at him. After I reassure him he lets go of my shoulder. “No problem.” He looks around the kitchen for a moment. “Where is Bethenny, or whatever the hell her name is.” I follow him as he walks to the front door of Freddys, looking out the window for Bitchennys car. It's not there. “Well thats fucking great, I have one employee.” He walks back into the main area with me. “Huh…” He murmurs, I look up at him. “What?” I say as I see Micheal and Evan starting to walk over. “Even though I’m closing Freddy's early today for our dinner, I still have to open it for at least 6 hours. I only have you and me as actual employees and that sure as hell won't work.” Get to the point, Afton, jesus. “Okay?” “Well, why don’t I, just for today, let my kids help run the place? It can’t go that bad can it?” 

Oh it definitely can go that bad. We decided to go through with it, letting a 8, 9 and 16 year old help run a restaurant is a wonderful plan. 

“EVAN NO DON’T EAT THE PIZZA WE HAVE TO BRING THAT TO THE TABLE” Evan is crying because I wouldn’t let him eat the pizza. Micheal is making pizza’s but fucking them up horribly because he’s laughing so hard, Elizabeth is surprisingly the only helpful one right now and is bringing the pizzas to the customers. William is managing the orders and giving us the orders, and I’m micromanaging all the kids and making pizzas at the same time. I guess I did need the apron today. It's a Thursday and Freddy's is unnecessarily packed, the music and the kids yelling and laughing is really not helping with the stress of this all. I quickly shove a pizza in the oven, checking my watch that reads,“5:30pm”. Oh thank god. “30 MINUTES LEFT GUYS WE GOT THIS!” I shout at Micheal, as he nods at me. Evan comes up behind me and steals my phone out of my back pocket. “NO EVAN GIVE IT BACK DAMMIT” Micheal starts laughing again as I chase Evan throughout the entire pizzeria, that is until William grabs Evan and takes my phone from him while laughing. “Hah, here ya go, we got what, 20ish minutes left, I’ll start sending people out.” I let out a relieved sigh, smiling at him before going into the kitchen again. “Alright Michael let's start cleaning this place up.” Micheal, Elizabeth and I all clean the kitchen up, (Extra well since we made more of a mess). William and Evan get everyone out, and just on time, Freddy’s closes. 

“Well done team!” William says, high fiving us all with a cheeky grin. We all cheer and laugh a bit. “Okay, y/n, I’ll give you my address or you can just follow my car with yours, either or?” “Oh I’ll just follow you haha” I already knew his address. So it's easier to just follow. “Sounds good, I’ll see ya in a bit, doll!” He says before getting into his car and starting it. Doll? A pet name? I can’t say I don't like it but c'mon, he’s making it harder to not fall for him. I get in my car and start following him, it takes about 15 minutes before we get to his house. It's a damn nice house too. I park next to his car in the driveway, hoping he wouldn’t mind but then again it's not like his wife parks there. 

“Welcome to my humble abode!” He greets me, opening the door for me as his kids run inside. The inside is just as nice as the outside, they definitely deep cleaned it before I came here but still, it's impressive. William leads me inside, into the kitchen, but before he can say anything Evan walks over and grabs my hand. “Y/n! y/n! I wanna show you my room, come on!!” He says jumping up and down and pulling on my hand. William chuckles. “I’ll start making dinner, the guest has to entertain the kids. I laugh and wave him off before following Evan into his room.

I sit in Evans room talking with him for 20 minutes or so, he is mostly just showing me all his toys and his plushies. To Evans dismay Elizabeth comes in and steals me for her own room tour, her’s is a bit longer since she forces me to play barbie with her.

Micheal comes into her room, but his eyes widen with regret as he sees us playing Barbie. “MICHEAL PLAY BARBIE NOW!” Before Micheal can even react Elizabeth is shoving him into her room and on the floor, and handing him two barbies to act as. Micheal definitely isn't as good at acting as the barbies as I am, then again he’s a guy. “Micheal, you aren’t doing it right, you have a girl Barbie right?” He rolls his eyes. “Yes…” “Then use a girl's voice.” He turns a dark shade of red, clearly embarrassed to have to act like a girl, I’m trying my hardest not to laugh at him. “Fine.” He picks up his barbie and moves it towards the barbie I'm holding. “Hey girl how ya doin?!” He says in a high pitched really girly voice, and, perfect timing, just before he said that William walked in and heard it all. Me and William break and just die of laughter, Micheal is still dark red, the poor kid is just insanely embarrassed, Elizabeth just had her evil smirk on.

After we get done making fun of Micheal, we go downstairs to eat since Wiliam finished cooking. I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to act surprised that he made (your fav food). But I choose not to. “Dang this is really good William, I didn’t know you could make anything except for pizza!” I joke with him, he laughs and thanks me.

We all finish eating, and Micheal forces me to play some shooting video game with him, naturally I’m terrible at it, even with having legitimate gun experience, Evan says goodnight to me and runs up stairs to go to bed. We keep playing the game for a while, William letting Elizabeth watch for some reason but whatever. I can tell William isn’t watching the screen, I can feel him staring at me, I try to ignore it the best I can. “Daddy can you come tuck me in, I think I’m going to bed.” Elizabeth promptly says, standing up and beginning to walk upstairs before pausing and turning around. “You too y/n.” She doesn’ even let me argue, she just walks upstairs like the girlboss she is. William chuckles, and walks upstairs with me. We get in Elizabeth's room and William tells her some made up story that puts her right to sleep, I shut off her light and before we can walk downstairs Micheal comes up. “Oh, thanks for hanging y/n, I'm gonna hit the hay.” I smile and give him a side hug, that is surprisingly not awkward. “Alright goodnight Michael.”

And finally, it's just William and I, downstairs, by ourselves. We walked to the front door, he was walking me out but before I left. “Y/n, I need to talk to you about something.” Oh god, is this it? “Yeah? What's up William?” 

“Look, you're my best worker, and currently my only.” He says with a small laugh. 

“And right now you're also, I'd say a good friend. But look. I like you y/n, i’m not going to hide from that, I want us to be more than friends, and to be dead honest with you it's not just like its love. I love you, I want to be with you.” 

Oh shit he said it, what do I do? Fuck wait I have to stick with the plan, no matter my own feelings, I have to… 

“I…I like you to William. But…you have to be honest with me right now, because I know about something you’ve done.” 

After I say that his whole demeanor changes, he looks more scared, wait no, not scared, just protective and maybe a bit worried. 

“What do you know?” 

“What you did to those kids William… I know about it… but… I don’t care, I need you to know that before you try to hurt me too. I don’t care because I love you too.” 

He stands there trying to read me, he looks baffled that I know about it. Which gives me the one answer I really hoped wasn’t the right one. He definitely is a murder.

“I killed multiple kids and you don't care?” And with that, I knew the police would be on their way right now, with the mic I have on my shirt they definitely picked that up. 

“I love you too much to care about that William.” God dammit. I want to forget that I'm an FBI agent, forget that the mic on my body recorded that, forget that police are definitely going to barge in any second now, I want to forget about all that because a part of me actually loves this serial killer, and that's what I hate so much about this. 

“Good.” He says, before he leans in, kissing me passionately. TO be honest it took me a little off guard but hey, I got one chance to kiss this tall hot guy. I'm going to take it, and just as I was giving in more. 

“FBI WILLIAM AFTON YOUR UNDER ARREST FOR THE MURDER OF MULTIPLE CHILDREN PUT YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR!” I see my co-workers storm in, grabbing William and handcuffing him, they start asking me if I’m okay and a couple other questions. They take William outside and I follow behind them. William looks utterly confused until I make eye contact with him, that's when it clicks for him. That I set him up, that I lied to him, and that I;ve been an FBI agent this whole time. 

“Y/n, you lying sack of shit!” He yells at me, pissed off as they struggle to shove him in the back of the police car. His window rolls down quickly, they aren't driving away. I feel like I have to talk to him, I owe him maybe just that, even though he's a murderer. And for killing those kids, I don’t feel bad anymore, I guess I lost sight… I forgot all the kids and families he’s hurt. I walked closer to the cop car so we could talk. 

“William, it's for your own good.” He laughs, he’s obviously still mad but he's grinning, the same evil grin that he never hides. “I could have gotten away with it. I would have gotten away with it, if it weren’t for you, y/n.” He angrily says to me. “Right. But you didn’t get away with it, and this is just karma, William.” William keeps glaring at me, still smiling though. The officer gets into the driver's seat of the car, putting it in drive, starting to slowly drive off. 

“I always come back y/n!” He shouts as I walk with the car, matching its slow pace.

“No William, not this time. Not anymore.”

HOPE YOU ENJOYED GUYS SORRY THAT IT TOOK SO LONG IM REALLY BUSY WITH UNIVERSITY <33

[hazbinsponsoredbyvee]

Y'know what's better than frenemies? Friendssssss! Friendship is disease it will spread to Radioapple soon I can sniff it, so I'm gonna ask these questions to speed up the process!

1. What was your first impression of each other and what's your impression of each other now? Did it change in better or in worse?

2. What is the best memory you share with the other?

3. Can you make a compliment to the other? (It has to be strictly about them, so yoi can't say: "He protects Vox well" or "He took care of Charlie", make it genuine.)

4. Did you receive any gifts from the other and if you did, where do you keep them?

5. What's the worst memory you have with the other and did you talk it out?

6. If you have an argument, who's the one that makes peace first?

7. If you could change one thing about the other, what would you change?

8. What's the most annoying thing the other has done?

9. Do you know what your frenemy has gone thru basically? Like, do you know the other's backstory?

10. How much did sharing a partner help your relationship grow?

—bird anon

"This is stupid. Do we really have to do this?"

"You're the one who allowed Vox to make this blog. It's your fault we're even in this mess. And for the record, we're not 'frenemies'."

1. What was your first impression of each other and what's your impression of each other now? Did it change in better or in worse?

"That he's an egotistical, manipulative asshole, and I stand by that."

"That he's an obnoxious hack who prances around thinking he's better than everyone else. And I soon came to realize that he's even more pathetic than I initially thought!"

"Oh, fuck you! I am not a hack-"

"Moving on!"

2. What is the best memory you share with the other?

"I suppose the vacation to Envy was rather fun, even if it was just to get Vox to stop working for two minutes."

"I had to stop you and Vox from killing each other on that trip!"

"Oh, we wouldn't have killed each other! And it was still a good time."

"When I wasn't playing mediator, yeah, it was. I guess I'll go with that, too."

3. Can you make a compliment to the other? (It has to be strictly about them, so yoi can't say: "He protects Vox well" or "He took care of Charlie", make it genuine.)

"You just ruled out the only two compliments I have for the guy!"

"Indeed. Outside of making Vox happy, he is rather useless."

4. Did you receive any gifts from the other and if you did, where do you keep them?

"He gave me an apron as part of a dare, once. I keep it in the kitchen."

"Nope, and I feel like his idea of gift-giving is like a cat leaving dead animals on your doorstep. I'll pass."

5. What's the worst memory you have with the other and did you talk it out?

"The worst memory that Alastor was involved in was when Vox was kidnapped and tortured, and we were powerless to do anything about it. Not really anything to talk out, outside of finding a way to make sure it doesn't happen again."

"My answer is the same."

6. If you have an argument, who's the one that makes peace first?

"Why would I care to make peace?"

"Yeah, we don't really do that..."

7. If you could change one thing about the other, what would you change?

"Uh... his existence?"

"What a coincidence! I was thinking the same thing."

8. What's the most annoying thing the other has done?

"When I was made to be your maid for a day."

"Ha! Yeah, that was fun. And there's really a lot to choose from here, he does annoying shit every day..... Okay, well this isn't really annoying, but it is one of the things he's done that pissed me off the most - when he tried to manipulate Vox into selling him his soul."

"That was your own fault."

"Okay, I fucked up, sure, but I am not to blame for the shitty way you handled it!"

"I'm not rehashing this argument."

9. Do you know what your frenemy has gone thru basically? Like, do you know the other's backstory?

"Of course I do."

"I know some - I know he was a serial killer, I know he sold his soul at some point, and I know his messy history with Vox. That's about it, though."

10. How much did sharing a partner help your relationship grow?

"I mean, we can actually hold civil conversations now without wanting to kill each other."

"Oh no, I still want to kill you, I just make the effort to be polite!"

"Well, your polite act sucks, just so you know."

[robotsrawesome64]

ohhh please can you do cod match up for me?? i'm female, german, 27, aquarius and work as an artist and project manager at an agency specialised in classical music. at work i'm very organized, detail oriented and efficient, but in private i like to slow things down. i guess you could say i have two personalities: at work i like getting things done and have no problem arguing with people, but in private i literally hate calling the doctor's office lol.

it's very hard for me to take my brain off work and usually only achieve that by getting engrossed in a show or painting. i like cooking, not so much baking. my hobbies are reading, going for walks (how very german of me), playing with my cat. i can be very funny, but i am more introverted and a very good listener. my love language is acts of service.

my cod favourites are price, ghost and könig, but at the moment i'm leaning more towards könig.

thank you very much and lots of kisses 😍

and I AGREE::: (shorter and sweet ones now SORRYYt_t Cue some HCs/drabbley things:)

 @/fairypurgatory on pin & @/jolvelyn on twt [art]

W: Intimidating newer man in your house O God, dark if you think about it (sprinkle sprinkle glitter sparkles on the war criminal), abrupt end

◈ Okay. Neighbour. Neighbour König. (AARRURURURURURU GET MARRIED GET MARRIED GET- GET--)

◈ After many sweet-talkings outside your respective doors, y'all had a date due at your place. If you cooked for him- omigod. Social expectations be damned, the clear thought and skill behind it… When he looked back up at you, eyes boring into yours, you were half worried you'd bought a serial killer home? (Which I mean, technically yes, don't ask too much about his job history-) But no, his ridiculously intense, maliciously-coded gaze was that one of determined enrapturement. ◈ It was an amusing juxtaposition to see him meet your cat. Tough guy, tryna be smooth, leaning on the side of the doorframe.. Before his intense focus was interrupted by something fluffy and he hit his head and almost cried. He's not the best with animals, but after enough visits they become casually inseparable, and a key part of the cuddle pile. If your cat wasn't spoiled already they were now. Hey, the pair of you aren't half bad at taking care of something.

◈ Doubly fell in love with you when he saw you popping off at work. He got called in for something important you left at home, god forbid, but of course he had your back, emergency key and all. He knows all too well the importance of things needing to go to plan. But forgive him if he just stared in awe like a motherfucker seeing you go off on someone.

◈ Oh, don't you worry. When your teeth are clenching looking down at your practice's phone number for that long overdue appointment- it's right there, just a click away,- König will snatch it from you. Mixed feelings, perhaps his confidence a little infantilizing, but… it's like a vice is undoubtedly unclamped as he waddles away with the dreaded compressed waiting room music (as if it was a totally normal thing to do). He'd confirm any details prior bending over behind you, rubbing your shoulder and cooing in your ear about it. Because of course you can do it, darling, but he's always there~…

◈ Takes great smug pride in a)taking care of you, if that's something you want- and b)being with you. Uh, yeah, the badass work-focused bigshot is his? And putty in his arms? That's right. So proud of showing you off to others at any possible convenience. 'Tries' to be subtle about it. Keyword 'tries'.

◈ He needs a break too. Proudly, toxic-masculinely denies any interest at first, but would ultimately happily waste away binging something with you. Colours and shapes reflecting off the TV onto his narrow, goofy lil' glasses, eyebrows slightly furrowed in focus as he guillibly complains about some ragebait. Uses you as a human weighted blanket laid on him, supporting your back with his chest.

◈ König's a prevalent yapper during whatever you do together. He plans as much as you'll allow, whisking you off for dinners, lunches- all expenses paid (or halfsies). Or elaborate hiking trails he insists you join him on, though sometimes he likes to choose the ones with tricky bits as an excuse to help or carry you.

[adder24]

Flowers for your hotdogs

A crossover fic with the Mentalist and Castle, since we never got the crossover of the centurary.

A/N: The timelines are not accurate I admit since I have mashed season 6 of the Mentalist with season 4 of Castle. I know I know but it's a bit of fun right?

Summary: Fed up of being restricted by the FBI, Jane makes a break for it while working a case in New York. He manages to throw the FBI off his scent but in doing so, he manages to bump into one of New York's finest detectives and a famous Author come consultant who both require Jane's expertise.

@profwonderbearthementalista @captkatecastle @untilthe12ofnever @nuggsmum @loops911 @nikki-rook @loops911 @hellostickerdoodle @myfriendtheurbanlegend @bonnie131313

Story below the cut

Chapter 1 - Damp Warehouses

When a dog is put on a short leash, it loses the ability to explore, to get acquainted with its surroundings and familiarise itself with the locals so to speak. It’s a tactic used to make a dog fall into line and a Tactic that the FBI were currently using on Jane. The problem was the more restrictions they put on him, the more Jane tested them and the trip to New York and being denied a Hot dog, was the breaking point.

He created a suitable distraction, by getting a suspect on a homicide to tell Kim Fischer she was going to inform the media, and while her and Lisbon ran after them, Jane decided to make a break for it, evading the other agents on the ground and blending in with the crowds of people around him. With his new found taste of freedom his first stop was a hot dog stand on the Manhattan side of Brooklyn bridge, next to the City hall park. Understandably there was a queue but eventually Jane reached the front of it and put in his order for a hot dog all the way.

A child like smile spread across his lips as he was given his hot dog, Jane made sure to pay the vendor generously, using the leftover change that he got from the disallowed hot dog earlier, but as he was about to take a bite, he sensed someone close by watching which was soon confirmed by an excitable sounding “Patrick Jane?!”

He turned his head to the voice and upon recognising the tall,stocky looking man coming towards him, he too got a little excitable.

“Richard Castle?!” He replied, chuckling when he saw the other man's Jaw drop and then turned to the woman standing next to him, the woman he could only assume would be the inspiration behind Nikki Heat. Kate Beckett.

“He knows me! Kate, he knows me!” Castle squeaks happily

“How can I not know you? The Derrick Storm novels and now The Nikki Heat stories? You’re pretty well known” Jane replied calmly as he took a bite from the hot dog and savoured the taste “I have been craving this all day”

“The man likes hot dogs too” Castle whispered as Kate gave him a look.

“A lot of people do Castle, now can you stop fangirling for five minutes and explain to me who Patrick Jane is” Kate replied firmly.

“He’s a Psychic!” Castle replied happily.

“No such thing as Psychic’s, more like an elaborate con artist” Patrick interjected with a smile

“A con artist?! You’re fangirling about a Con artist pretending to be a Psych-Wait hang on, Patrick Jane? The same Patrick Jane who’s fam-”

“Family was murdered by a serial killer! Yes, that Patrick Jane, I was trying to avoid bringing that up around him Kate but nevermind” Castle grumbled

“It’s okay…I have grown accustomed to it now.” Patrick replied as his smile fell a little. “Yes I am that Patrick Jane and yes I know you two are more than just Colleagues and I am guessing you’re trying very very hard to keep it a secret from those you work with”

Both Castle and Kate looked at him dumbstruck. They had literally only just met him and the man was already picking up on the fact they were an item and desperately trying to keep it hush hush.

“Oh he’s good!” Castle said a little too enthusiastically.

“Yeah, he’s a con artist Castle” Kate replied unimpressed, “He probably followed us-”

“Or I have a good read on people. Castle here, he’s like a Labrador, Excitable, always sees the world as his playground, can be tamed with food and is loyal to his family and those he loves but you Kate, you’re a little more complex. See you want to be like him but you lost someone very close to you and their death has given you a thirst for revenge, one that hasn’t been quenched yet but you have been tantalisingly close on a few occasions. And that drive, that quest you have set out in your mind, it’s what has closed you off a little from all the good things he sees in this world...You’re opposites but you need one another. You need him to help you lighten up and he needs you to ground him and reel him in a little, otherwise he becomes an untameable, bouncy labrador that humps all the furniture” Jane interrupted, watching their expressions as he accurately described them. “Am I close or do you still believe I followed you? A bit of a feat considering I crossed over from Brooklyn”

“I don’t hump furniture!” Castle blurts out, watching Jane as he takes another bite from his hot dog, chuckling.

Kate however was a little more shaken up. It felt like Jane had reached into her soul, pulled out her memories and was poking at them, seeing what kind of response he would get from her when he was able to discover her life story in mere seconds.

“How did you do that?” She asked him carefully

“Like I said, I just have a good read on people” Patrick replied casually as he finished off his hot dog.

"Right…come on Castle we got a case to work on" Kate says cautiously, watching Patrick closely.

"We do-wait, I got a brilliant idea" Castle replied, his voice filled with excitement.

"Oh no" Kate groaned.

"Oh no? What's Oh no?" Patrick asked, being his usual nosey self.

"Why don't we get Jane to help us solve the case quicker?! That's only if he hasn't got anywhere to go or isn't working" Castle suggested, watching the death glare form on Kate's face.

"Excellent idea, I'm not working on anything, I'm just here visiting" Patrick replied with as much eagerness as Castle.

"We can't just bring him into the precinct like a stray dog and hope Gates will let him work a case" Kate growled 

"Then like a stray dog, we sneak him in, tell her he's a witness or something." Castle replied

"You know the times where I hate you? This is one of them. He can tag along but there are rules." Kate said sternly 

"It's okay I'm house trained" Patrick interjected.

"Oh great, he's just as Snarky. Okay Patrick, rule one, you don't tell anyone what is going on between me and Rick, do and I lose my job. So unless you want me to use your inside as a football, I suggest you keep it quiet. Rule two you only read the suspects. Castle I don't want you encouraging him either" Kate said firmly giving the man that look "Rule three and the final rule, if you want a coffee…make it yourself"

"But I only drink tea" Patrick replied

"Then you should be fine" Kate said as they started to walk towards the car "You coming?"

“Absolutely!” Jane said with a beaming smile, chasing after them, eager to see how this dynamic partnership worked together.

The journey to the precinct was a bit of a whistle stop sightseeing tour for Patrick, he got to see the Empire State building, Times Square, a peek at the Chrysler building and a fleeting glance at lady liberty herself before they finally reached the precinct. Patrick got out of the car and took a moment to get himself acquainted before Castle showed him the way in and signed him in as a guest. They then made their way up to where the magic happened, a small area that was alive with the hustle and bustle of detectives working cases or acting on call outs. It felt a little like home for Patrick, reminding him of the CBI before it was disbanded.

“Do you have a couch?” Patrick finally asked

“Yeah in the family room…where we talk to the families, why?” Castle asked “Oh it’s just how I do my best work, laying on the couch, staring at the ceiling, listening to my environment. Something I asked from the FBI but they're not in the mood to bend and consequently I’m not doing my best work for them” Patrick replied, giving Castle a coy smile.

“You think Kate will buy it?” Castle asked him

“She will buy it if you are in on it, say ... .I tell you it’s a technique used to gather your thoughts, see clarity in your decisions and all you have to do is tell her it works”  Patrick suggested, knowing full well Castle was up for a bit of mischief making.

“I’m in!” Castle replied Defiantly 

“Excellent, show me the way to the family room and I will show you the magic” Patrick replied confidently

“Certainly and may I say, I like you, we’re going to get into so much trouble” Castle said happily.

“Oh we are, we really are” Patrick replied with a chuckle as Castle showed him to where the couch was kept.

Oddly enough, it was a similar one to the one Patrick grew accustomed to, only this one seemed a little more supportive. He sat down, bounced on it a few times before laying down on it to get a feel.

"Oh this is comfortable, I can work with this" Patrick said as a grin spread across his lips "Wanna give it a go on the other one Castle?"

Castle quickly looked around to make sure no one was looking in before he too took his place on the other couch, laying his 6 foot 2 frame across the cushions and letting out a contented groan.

"Oh yeah…I can see why you like this way of working" Castle said huskily 

"It's great, you can relax and let your brain unravel the case but what's even better, is you can listen better like this…you can hear everything going on, channelling in on the right conversations, picking up little nuggets here and there" Patrick says as he closes his eyes to tune his listening skills  "What's the case you're working on?" 

"A guy killed by a Zombie" Castle replied nonchalantly 

"You're joking right?" Patrick replied surprised 

"I'm not. We got video evidence. It's really cool but a little creepy!" Castle replied excitedly

"There is no such thing as Zombies. It's illogical for them to exist" Patrick replied calmly, knowing Castle will argue against him.

"Okay well I guess I'll have to show you the footage to make you believe" Castle replied.

"Guess you will" Patrick replied softly 

There was a moment's silence between the two men, both of them listening to their environment momentarily before Castle's curiosity got the better of them.

"You know how you freaked out Kate? Can you do that with me?" Castle asked "Just curious to know what you're psychic abilities picked up on me"

"Not psychic and I already did" Patrick replied as he turned to look at him "You ready to hear it?"

"Fire away" Was Castle's response, not truly prepared for what Patrick was about to say.

"On the outside you appear as this loveable guy that has a good sense of humour, wit and charm but on the inside you've experienced a lot of heartbreak, sensing your father was never around when you was born, that you took on the responsibility to be the man about the house, look after your mom, pay the bills and help keep a roof over your head." Patrick replied

".......I never told-"

"I'm not done" Patrick interrupted "You put on the playboy act after a broken heart by a childhood sweetheart, you didn't want your heart broken like that again so you played the field for a very long time…got married a couple of times and had a child. A daughter who is and always will be the apple of your eye. You're loyal, loving to your family and now you actually feel ready to have a serious relationship with someone, who I believe is Kate or Beckett as you call her at work. Problem is you love her but you still keep things from her and I can tell you, you need to be open with Kate, stop hiding behind the playboy act, lower your walls a little and just be you. You don't need to impress her Castle, she likes the man you are." 

Castle just stared at him, he was impressed by the man's skill, if somewhat a little uncomfortable by the man's accurate reading. Of course it did cross his mind that Patrick may have researched him beforehand but something was telling him that it was not the case, that somehow, Patrick leapt into his mind and relayed all that he saw before him.

"How far off was I?" Patrick asked

"Did you research me?" Castle asked

"Nope, didn't have time and didn't know I'd end up working alongside you." Patrick replied casually.

"Well for someone who hasn't done his homework, you got it spot on. You gotta teach me how to do it, it would be a cool thing to do at parties!" Castle responded enthusiastically.

"I'm not one to give out my trade secrets but as a tip, people give out visual clues all the time, you just need to know where to look and how to read it." Patrick replied with a smile.

"Kate can be my test subject" Castle replied thoughtfully

"Yes she can but don't be too obvious with it, try and be subtle" Patrick advised.

He then went on to spend ten minutes schooling Castle on how to subtly get a read on someone, reminding him to keep eye contact with someone but not make it uncomfortable, all before Kate burst into the room and stood in the doorway, a disapproving look on her face and her arms folded across her chest.

"She's upset" Castle said calmly

"Yeah it's quite obvious" Patrick replied

"Castle you asked to have this man work on the case and here you both are, laying on the couch, gossiping while I am out there busting my ass off trying to catch a lead" Kate said in frustration.

"This is how Patrick works, you lay on the couch and lis-"

"I don't care. Get your asses to my desk. Now!" Kate demanded, giving Patrick her trademark death glare "I don't care how you work, when you are under my command you do things my way. Are we clear Mr Jane?"

"Oh we're clear but you'll be surprised what you hear from the couch" Patrick replied in an annoyingly optimistic manner, hoping he could make Kate crack a little.

"Desk!" She snapped back at him as Castle hurriedly ran to get another seat setup at Kate's desk.

"But I don't know where you sit" Jane protested "And I still need a cup of tea"

"Tea can wait. Follow me if you know what's good for you" Kate replied.

Patrick shrugged his shoulders and followed her through the office, watching the people around him work and noting two detectives that were giving him a quizzical look as he passed them by. He then approached what he assumed to be Kate's desk and sat in the empty seat next to Castle, the man presenting Patrick with a cup of tea he had made for him.

"Did you put the water in, make sure the tea bag stewed a little and then the milk?" Patrick asked him.

"Yep, my mom knew this English guy who was very precious about the way his tea was made and he taught-"

"Guys. A little focus here" Kate said sternly

"I made him tea," Castle said proudly.

Kate rolled her eyes and shook her head before presenting Patrick with the file they were working on. Inside was the report on the body from Laney, pictures of the body and the crime scene and a few statements from those who attended the scene along with information gathered on the victim and a list of potential suspects.

"For someone to bite another human and leave behind a deep wound, they would need to be high or deranged" Patrick said as he continued to read the notes.

"Or a zombie,"  Castle interjected.

"You only ever bite someone if it's in self defence or…you're sexually aroused by it. This doesn't come across as either…was there any chemical residue left behind?" Patrick asked

"As a matter of fact there was, traces of a chemical found only in this specific Warehouse district downtown which is on the to do list" Kate replied as she studied Patrick "You thinking drugs are involved?"

"Could be, where's this Charlie fellow?" Patrick asked

"Down in holding, he believes he's going to turn into a zombie" Kate replied with a sarcastic tone in her voice.

"Ooof. Someone's been watching too many horror films. Can I speak to him? I want to know what person we're dealing with here" Patrick asked

"I'll take you to him, I would say take Castle but it'll only encourage his zombie fixation" Kate replied.

"Don't come running when he turns and hungers for your brainy goodness" Castle quipped as he started going over the files again.

"Nice tea by the way" Patrick said, raising his cup to him as he walked alongside Kate. 

They didn't speak much but Patrick could tell that this was a woman who was strong minded, stubborn and confident. He could see It in the way she walked, the way she commanded authority and kept her team in check but under that tough exterior he knew there was a soft spot, someone who was warm, caring and understanding. He just needed to gain her trust a little.

"Do you have a team you work with in the FBI?" Kate asked him finally.

"Yes…yes I do it's still being put together but all the right ingredients are there, it's just getting them to click into place" Patrick answered as they reached the holding cells and waited for someone to sign them in.

"I'm guessing you're an agent" Kate said as she began to fill in the forms.

"No actually, I'm a consultant like Castle I guess" Patrick replied. 

“So who’s lucky enough to have you as their pain in the ass?” Kate asked with a chuckle

“Theresa Lisbon, you’d get along, she has things she can teach you and you have things you can teach her” Patrick replied as he signed the forms where he needed to “We have worked with each other a while now, she’s the only one I truly trust when it comes to things close to my heart”

“Sounds like you have a soft spot for her” Kate says with a smile

“I’ve worked with her for years, of course I’m going to develop a soft spot for her” Patrick says defensively as Kate walks him into the maze of holding cells, every single one of them empty bar one, which was occupied by Charlie, tall man with short black hair, wearing a grey shirt, white tee and Black trousers. Sure enough, Patrick saw the bite mark on his arm, same as the one found on the victim.

“That is interesting!” Patrick says gleefully as he sits down on the floor, placing his cup of tea on the ground between his legs “Hey I’m Patrick Jane, I’m another consultant. Look I need to ask about the attack, smooth out a few details. Now according to Zombie lore, by now you would have turned and that wound on your arm would become a lot more redder and angrier, your veins would be purple and more to the surface and you would be clammy and sick looking, like you have the flu. None of that has happened so I think you’re still able to help me understand what happened to you and David.”

Charlie slowly looked at his arm and then back at Patrick, indicating for the man to carry on with what he has to say.

“I want you to close your eyes for me and slow your breathing down, breathe deep in through your nose, hold for three seconds and breathe out slowly. Can you do that for me?” Patrick asked

“Yeah ... .I can do that” Charlie replied as he slowly closed his eyes and followed Patrick’s instruction.

Patrick waited a couple of minutes, watching the man calm himself down and fall into some form of trance that made him a little more amicable and easy to coerce.  The perfect moment for Patrick to try and draw out some information they couldn’t get out from him while he was hysterical and focusing on his bite.

“I know the attack was quite violent and disturbing for you but I want you to try and remember that day for me, recall any smells or sounds that put you there, maybe there is a colour that reminds you of that day” Patrick says softly, watching the man relax.

“Glue….I could smell Glue….like latex glue” Charlie replied

“Okay that’s good. What else stood out to you?” Patrick asked him

“Rust and…staleness, no damp, the clothes smelt damp” Charlie replied

"Good and did you recognise this person who attacked both you and David?" Patrick asked.

"No idea they just…they came for us and then ran off" Charlie replied 

Patrick took a sip of his tea and looked at Kate with a smile.

"Rust and damp smelling clothes would fit warehouses, especially the leaky ones. But…I don't think our killer was of sound mind and I have a feeling, since Charlie here doesn't know them, is that they were hired to kill or maybe coerced" Patrick suggested before he clapped his hands, snapping Charlie out of his trance "Thanks Charlie you have been a big help"

Charlie blinked, confused and disorientated, unsure of what happened to him as Kate gave Patrick a perplexed look.

"Did you hypnotise him?"She asked

"No just calmed him down and made him more cooperative" Patrick replied with a smile as he got to his feet and picked up his tea from the floor “Castle makes a good cup of tea”

“I'm sure he will be thrilled to know” Kate replied as she walked with him out of the holding area. “Fancy having a walk around some of New York’s finest warehouses in the middle of the night?”

“Sure. I don’t sleep much anyway so maybe a walk around some Warehouses might make me sleepy” Patrick replied with a sarcastic tone and a cheeky smile on his lips.

“I’m guessing you have a hotel room for the night?” Kate asked as she started to sign them out 

“Err…not really I was just going to take a chance on luck” Patrick replied as he started to sign the documentation.

“Well Castle has a spare room or three you can make use of, I’m sure he would love to have you around” Kate replied as they made their way back to the bullpen 

“I’ll be sure to ask him” Patrick replied

Once they returned to Beckett’s desk, she started to put her plan into action. Her, Castle and Patrick would take a few warehouses within  Manhattan, while Ryan and Esposito took a few spots along the Hudson and of course they would move at night, usually the time where crime would be at its peak and they may catch a few breaks with some drug dealers that could potentially have a role to play within the case. So as soon as Darkness fell over the city, Beckett and her team got to work, Esposito and Ryan headed to their spots while Kate, Castle and Patrick went to theirs. Their first spot was a bust, nothing happening, no suspect behaviour or even drug dealers but the second spot, the second spot was interesting. There was steam and a creepy atmosphere around the place which oddly put a smile on Patrick's face.

“Oh this is deliciously creepy” Patrick said joyfully

“Even more reason to have your wits about you Patrick” Kate retorted as they walked through the grounds of this particular spot.

“Oh I have my wits about me, don’t you worry about that” Patrick replied as he marvelled at the spot, chuckling when he saw how on edge Castle was, despite the man trying to disguise it with the macho front he put on. Of course, it teased out Patrick’s mischievous side, he couldn’t help himself and when the right time presented itself, Patrick struck. He managed to find a discarded paper bag,collected air into it and popped it, the explosion loud and reverberated around the grounds of the warehouse. Castle must have lept twelve feet in the air, causing Patrick to laugh loudly before he realised Kate’s gun was trained on him and he flung his arms up in the air to show submission.

“Do that again and I’ll tell Lisbon personally why you came home with a hole in your body” Kate snapped.

But as Jane was about to reply with a witty comment, something caught his eye, something running frantically behind them.

“You might want to turn around” Jane said hurriedly

“If you’re tricking me, I swear-”

“I’m not tricking you! Turn around, there is someone running for their lives!” Patrick pleaded

Thankfully Castle saw it too, despite his nerves already being shredded by Patrick’s antics.

“Kate I think they need help” Castle said

Kate slowly took her eyes off Patrick and looked in the direction both men were looking in, sure enough there was a young woman emerging from the steam in the distance, sprinting towards them, horror etched on her face.

“Get out of here! They’re coming!” She screamed as she ran past them, Patrick watching her path as she ran by..

“Gotta admire a woman who can sprint in heels!” Patrick said before he then turned to look in the direction she came from and sure enough, emerging from the steam was a horde of people also running in fear.

“Okay what’s going on?!” Castle blurted out as he watched Patrick and Kate watched as these people ran past them screaming.

Then there was an eerie silence as the screaming died off into the distance. A moment for them to catch their breaths and try to figure out what had just happened. Patrick was about to speak before he noticed a crowd of slow moving people In the distance, people that stumbled over their feet, that had their hands outstretched. They could hear the distant growls and groans before they emerged from the shadows, coming from every direction. Patrick's eyes lit up in wonder while Castle appeared more panicked. He knew what this group of people were.

“We need to run!” He shouted

“Why?” Patrick asked, confused.

“Because if we don't they'll eat out brains, they're Zombies Patrick!” Castle replied

“.....Zombies? Well this should be Interesting” Patrick replied calmly.

“How are you calm?!” Castle yelled

“Err…I dunno, maybe I know the difference between fact and fiction” Patrick replied 

But the Zombie horde got closer and closer, Patrick fought  back the urge to yell out Lisbon's name as he became increasingly uncomfortable with the amount of people coming towards them, vacant, soulless eyes staring right at them. Unsettling, unnerving and creepy. Kate quickly drew her gun and stood her ground.

“CASTLE, PATRICK, GET BEHIND ME!” She yelled as she kept eyes on the horde.”This can’t be real…”

“WE’RE OUTNUMBERED!” Castle replied, panicked by the sight.

“Significantly! You don’t have enough bullets in that gun to hold them back,so I hope you got a plan, Detective” Patrick warned as he backed himself up against Castle

“Only one. Hold tight and be prepared to fight!” Kate ordered.

[alienguts]

Spectacular (Ash Williams x f!Reader)

Summary: Y/N needs glasses and wants Ash to help her pick some out.

Warnings: fluff, friendly teasing

Request?: No

A/N: This one goes out to my glasses wearing babes out there. I am not one which is a shame because I look good in glasses. Also, I know that it takes much longer for prescription lenses to come in but this is a magical fictional opticians where they have things instantly.

Ash had spent fifteen minutes twiddling his thumbs in the optometrist waiting room, watching the rerun game show on the world’s smallest television set. He’d told Y/N multiple times that she didn’t need him to accompany her to her eye test, but she’d insisted so much that he eventually caved. He didn’t know anything about eyes except what it felt like to stand on one, and that was something he wished he didn’t know.

Eventually, Y/N came out of the exam room, the eye doctor in tow and a piece of paper in her hand. He looked up as he heard them come in and saw how her lips were pursed into a hard line.

“What’s going on?” he asked, looking between Y/N and the doctor.

“I need glasses,” she said. 

Is that it? Ash thought as he wrapped an arm around her shoulder, ignoring the doctor.

“Hey, it’s not the end of the world, honey,” he soothed. “I bet you’ll look cute in glasses.”

“I’m not worried about that, Ash,” Y/N said as she shrugged his arm off of her. “It’s how much they’re gonna cost. I don’t exactly have all the money in the world.”

“Oh. Well, we’ll figure something out.”

The doctor cleared his throat briefly, drawing their attention back to him.

“If you’ll both follow me, we’ll try some frames out.”

Ash had expected to spend another fifteen minutes twiddling his thumbs while Y/N tried on glasses, but it turned out that he was quite keen to help her find a good frame.

“What about these?” he asked as he held up a thin framed pair with perfectly round lenses. Y/N immediately scrunched her nose at them.

“Nah, I’d look like John Lennon in those,” she said but still took them from him. She placed the glasses on her face and took one look in the mirror before turning back to Ash. 

“See?” she said. “They’re too Lennon for me.”

“I dunno, I think you look cute in them,” Ash said. 

Y/N immediately turned back to the wall of frames, embarrassed by him complimenting her in a public place. She picked up a pair with square lenses and settled them on her face before turning back to Ash.

“How about these?” 

“Now those are cute,” he said as he took her face in his hands and angled her chin around, as if he was trying to get a good look at her from all angles.

“I like these too,” Y/N said as she tried to suppress a laugh. 

“You look like a cute librarian,” Ash said and let go of her face before kissing her gently. He felt how her face immediately heated up against his and smiled against her lips before drawing away again.

“Okay,” Y/N said, trying to not look so flustered. “These are a definite yes, I just need a spare pair.”

“You mean we gotta keep looking?” Ash whined. “Can’t you just get two of the same?”

“I could, but I want a different pair too,” she said and turned back to the wall to look at the frames again.

Ash let his eyes wander over the display and immediately pulled a random pair off the wall.

“How about these?” he asked and placed them onto his own face.

“Ugh, no,” Y/N bristled. “I’d look like a serial killer in those.”

“I guess they are a little creepy when they’re not sunglasses,” Ash said and put the frames back. “Hey, I’m gonna leave you to it, I gotta use the bathroom.”

“Oh, okay,” Y/N said. “I’ll probably be here a while so don’t rush yourself.”

Ash took his time, as Y/N had said to, coming back to the store just as she was paying. Her back was to him as she took a bag from the assistant, presumably with her new glasses inside. He took quiet steps as he crept up behind her and wrapped his arms around her shoulders. She jumped slightly when she noticed him but rested a hand on her wrist as she finished her conversation and thanked the assistant.

“Ready to go?” he asked as she turned round to face him.

He was surprised to see Y/N already wearing her new glasses: a pair with black frames and mid-sized lenses that sat perfectly on her face. They were better than any pair he would have picked for her and just made her cuter.

“Hey, you made a good choice,” he said and gently took hold of her chin to turn her face to different angles. “You suit them.”

“You think so?” Y/N said, her face warming. “I was worried you wouldn’t like them for a second.”

“You kidding?” Ash said as they left the store together. “Nah, you look cute in them.”

Y/N smiled and reached up on her tiptoes to gently kiss him. “Thank you, honey.”

 “You’re welcome, poindexter.”

“Why did I have a feeling you would end up teasing me?” Y/N said with a laugh.

“You just know me so well, baby,” Ash crooned. “I could say other things to you. How about if I said you look like a sexy librarian?”

“I’ll think about that one, just don’t tease too much or you’ll get it.”

"Can't wait," he said and took her hand in his to lead her to the parking lot.

[growling]

for the ask game (with either raincode or danganronpa) :

👛 your favorite rare pair?

💕a ship you’d defend with your life?

♠️ favorite protagonist?

(from this ask game)

👛 your favorite rare pair?

I don't think much about danganronpa shipping anymore (my brain is now just permanently rotating enoshima, kamukura, komaeda, ouma and kiibo there like rotisserie chickens instead, i am TOO BUSY!!!), so rain code it is: yumayomi/kokohell/the japanese side calls it yumayomi ig and the english side does not call it anything because no one except me and like 2 other people care. yuma & yomi are just so objectively hilarious as a duo and the possibilities of putting them in Situations are fucking endless nobody does it like they do it. every day another yuma and yomi au idea establishes itself in my mind i am running out of storage room i have so many other things i should care about that aren't wacky rain code yaois but guess what i cannot they won't let me

(also fubuyomi honorable mention. I have to mention fubuyomi they also drive me but I have zero words to describe it. oh and worshipper x priest despite me keeping silent about it for a solid few months i did not forget religious serial killer toxic sludge yaoi anyway have you listened to we will commit wolf murder by of montreal for no reason in particular)

💕a ship you’d defend with your life?

zero hesistation ougoku danganronpa like what is you people's PROBLEM??? "it's abusive" jesse what the fuck are you talking about. Ouma did not "manipulate" him Gokuhara knew exactly what he was doing. Ouma explicitly told him his plans for the Insect Meet and Greet in the FTE's right before the event, and Gokuhara got mad at him because he lied about liking bugs, (which Ouma had to do because you've all seen how Gokuhara reacts to people that don't. you've seen it) NOT because he suddenly realized he was being manipulated or something. So many people dismiss the sheer amount of agency Gokuhara actually had in chapter 4, in favour of painting the situation as just "poor stupid baby gonta got tricked into murder by the big bad ouma :((((" while. he is not STUPID (HE IS LITERALLY A SCIENTIST??) he was not COERCED into his crimes, he was a WILLING ACCOMPLICE!!!!!! I FEEL LIKE I'M LOSING MY GODDAMN MIND!!!!! He did it in a misguided attempt at mercy killing his classmates after finding out the world got fucked and everything sucks now. There are multiple pieces of dialogue that highly imply Ouma did in fact also want to mercy kill the class - which also makes sense as it would end the killing game (you know his. main. true. goal.) This would mean that he only started his plan to become the “mastermind” after Gonta told him to not die with him <- this one's quoted from my favourite dr theory blog jacksmusesdrv3 hello hava good day I couldn't find another way to word this myself. "Ouma faked being sad Gokuhara's about to be/got executed in front of him" his reaction literally parallels Kuzuryuu's to Pekoyama's death buddy. buddy. Ouma's entire thing is that he lies about lying about lying about lying WHY are you taking his word at face value why are you believing whAT THE LIAR IS TELLING YOU?????? WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING. PUT ME OUT OF MY FUCKING MISERY I CANNOT TAKE THIS. People treat Gokuhara like he's stupid (which is "funny" (he said through clenched teeth) since isn't that the entire thing everybody ingame severely underestimates him and then. i can't) while he and Ouma are two of some of the smartest people in the game. And! Gokuhara is perfectly capable of lying and having ulterior motives we've all saw him do that right :)))) multiple times right :)))))) Gokuhara even SAYS Ouma didn't trick him BECAUSE HE DIDN'T. HE DID NOT. These two have the some of the most genuine dynamics in dr, and the best in ndrv3, and you dare disrespect them like this. shame on you. SHAME. People always assume the worst in Ouma, and the best in Gokuhara. This is my personal hell. I am not okay.

♠️ favorite protagonist?

Easily Yuma, beating literally all of dr's protags (though dr1 Naegi has second place. I love you Naegi Makoto). Where do I even start? I think I'm too tired after the above rant to articulate myself anymore and I think if I wasn't that essay would take an entire week to finish lmao.

Thanks for the ask anon :3 !!!

[volcanicflowers]

live blogging the fallout show under here. episode 1. im a hater by nature btw but its not all negative dw

is this guy like the vault tec ceo or spokesperson or something? NO WAY HE IS NAMED MR HOWARD...... todd howard's self insert the vault tec ceo.

i think todd saw the "did you know vault boy is actually holding up his thumb to check the size of the mushroom cloud" thing on reddit and was like "oh shit... thats a good idea. we should use that"

no way they have time for this conversation AND GETTING ON THE FUCKING HORSE???? GIRL THE HORSE?? NOT THE CAR??? GIRL??????????? RIDING THE HORSE DOWN THE STREET?? HELLO? actually i understand. save the horse. bringing my horse into the vault.

HOORAY no vault incest 🥳🥳🥳

GIRL WHY DID THEY HAVE TO MENTION THAT SHE'S BEEN "DOING COUSIN STUFF" FOR 10 YEARS AFTER ESTABLISHING THAT THEY DON'T DO INCEST IN THE VAULTS????? i hate it here.

i will say the room in the vault that looks like an outdoor farm goes hard i am a very big fan of that

DEAD WIFE BACKSTORY COUNTER: 1!! LETS GO PEOPLE!!!!!

NOT MORE OF THE COUSIN INCEST.. I FUCKING HATE IT HERE.

her dad is either going to super die or be evil

husband guy isnt even going to call her platinum in the sack? or pussy cat? what about her charlies? literally unwatchable.

my husband is taking a very big gulp of water, i think hes a serial killer?

"you're from the surface" girl how else do you think he got there from the other vault

i feel like this is a lot of effort for these raiders to go through to take over a vault but i guess they were there for the party

she'll be fine just start spamming stimpaks

okay her dad survived the raider attack which means hes definitely going to turn out to be evil later

i like maximus he seems fun i hope he leaves the brotherhood and i hope hes kinda a loser

oh so new vegas exploded but not the prydwen which i blew up personally?

aw maximus not anger issues cmon

"we've never opened the vault door" how were you getting people from the other vaults for this arranged marriage thing???? if it actually is secret tunnels why werent they just sharing the vaults from the get-go why was the cousin incest necessary

loving lucy's cringefail brother btw i hope he shows up more

YESSSS CRINGEFAIL BROTHER COMING ALONG!!

NOOO hes staying behind :( why tease me like this

cmon maximus couldve been a fun loser why we doing this. throw him off the prydwen I Guess

ghoul moment. i have to go to bed now